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Showing posts from 2008

Dog Tired

I so didn't get the chance to rock out like I wanted during Christmas and The Wedding. I had some tummy troubles, sigh. That so spoiled the moment. Picture me, dashing to the restroom every half an hour. Christmas eve was awesome. Christmas day was less so but at least I got some pretty good presents. Sigh. The wedding was beautiful, like a scene from a movie. I was ~ Gasp, wearing a dress! It was uncomfortable, the make up part was fun though. We spent the whole part of the morning yesterday getting ready to walk the aisle with the bride. I'll post any pictures that are probably going to be embarrassing. I haven't seen the pics yet so... gulp, they might need to be burned. I almost caught the bouquet, oh dear, it would be so scandalous if I did. That would mean that I would be the next bride. Thank god I didn't. Maybe in the next wedding. Lol. I haven't finished unpacking yet and sadly, regretfully haven't finished all of my projects yet. Felicia, so sorry abou

Tagged By Fel

A. People who have been tagged must write their answer in their blog. B. Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they are tagged by and cannot tag the person who they were tagged by. C. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people: - I will not tag anyone, lol I'm anti chain blogging and chain e mailing but I'll just do the quiz for quiz sakes 1. What have you been doing recently? Hanging out, malling and some drinking 2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off? Yep. When I'm sleeping or charging my phone 3. What happened at 10 am today? I took a Jeep to my cousins' house 4. When did you last cry? The day before yesterday 5. Believe in fate/destiny? Yep, but I also believe that I have control over my destiny 6. What do you want in your life now? A change in scenery, I'm sick of my current life 7. Do you tend to make relationships complicated? I don't think so. 8

Catching up on school work.

I'm at one of my cousins' house, one of the places where I can use a broadband internet connection for free. It so sucks that there are so many projects going on. Sigh. I've had my fun with my cousins and now its time to work. Just in case any of my groupmates are privy to this blog, I just want to apologize for not yet handing in my part. I'm having my bridesmaid's dress made and well, I hope it turns out okay. Sigh. Back to work I go.

High

Watched twilight yesterday and was disapointed, got drunk and rode a motorcycle. Imagine, me, past midnight careening down the street at mindblowing speeds, half drunk and hanging on as a pinion rider without a helmet. I thought to myself, " I don't mind dying this way!" because, yes it was that fast and so much fun. Whoots! The only downside was the fact that someone had the cheek to ... erm grab me in a headlock and... give me a smack on the lips. Well it was weird and awkward! Majorly! The guy was practically like a bro to me. Sigh.

Twilight fever?

I was kind of quiet during the break and let me tell you why. I was day dreaming: Edward, bite me. Just think of what it would be like to not need sleep, to never age and be dazzlingly beautiful. I wouldn't have to worry about needing sleep. I could take all the time in the world to learn things so term tests wouldn't be a problem at all! The only trade off is that I won't be able to sunbathe I would sparkle in the sunlight and I would probably not have the self discipline to abstain from human blood so I would have to murder people to satisfy my thirst. Mwahahahaha! I'll probably kill off the criminals first like Rosalie then move on to the evil CEOs who poison the planet with toxic wastes. Of course by then, the Volturi will be on my tail. Oh well. Being a werewolf would be cool too, its just that for that, I'd have to be a guy, and to tell you the truth, being a guy just to be a werewolf isn't worth it. ~Poor Jacob. If you don't know what I'm talkin

A Retarded Start

I know I'm supposed to stay away from blogging due to the coming term tests but, well, I just can't seem to concentrate. Even if I locked myself up in my room, I'd still find something better to do than studying. Freaktarded is indeed a good description of yours truly. Why? Freaktard consists of two words, freak and retard. Freak Noun- A thing or occurrence that is markedly unusual or irregular : A freak of nature produced the midsummer snow. Noun- An abnormally formed organism , especially a person or animal regarded as a curiosity or monstrosity. Adjective - unusual; odd; irregular: a freak epidemic. Retard Noun - A slowing down , diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine. Verb - To put off; to postpone ; as, to retard the attacks of old age; to retard a rupture between nations. Syn: To impede; hinder; obstruct; detain; delay; procrastinate; postpone; defer *Definitions courtesy of Dictionary.com LOL!-Although I intended it to be some kind of mockery of my opinion of

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

IPT was gut wrenching, well, it was more gut wrenching before the interview rather than during the actual interview itself. I somehow managed to survive. I was so stressed that a pimple sprouted right in the middle of my face. :( The crammathon starts now. The term tests are as follows: Pmic and CSAS 4 on Tuesday. PRM and B Pharm on Wednesday. PIA on Thursday. IPT on Friday. Not to mention a project meeting for B Pharm. Some conference thing on Saturday. A IPT meeting on Sunday. My flight on Monday. Ergo, I have 3 days to cram for the 3 non-open-book subjects. I day for each. I'll get back to you If I somehow survive. PIA makes me see stars.

Numbers

I am stressed. I am in need of de-stressing. I am moody and PMS-ing and I am freaked out about how many cockroaches there are in the store room! I would go in there to clean in out but I'm afraid that the roaches will attack me. I might even be feeling light headed from all of the Shieldtox that I've been using. I can proudly say that I've killed at least four tonight. I guess you could say that I'm taking out all of my frustration on vermin! 5 days till the start of term tests .- Kill me now! 8 days till the end of term tests! - I can't wait! 11 days till I leave Singapore .-Yay, coz I'm going out of the country. -Boo because I will have a lot of trouble doing the projects. 18 days till B Pharm project submission .-Who has time?! 21 days till Christmas! -Yay! 25 days till school starts .- Bummer Majoris. 28 days till new year! - Whoo! 81 days till I turn 21 -Pooh! Time is SHORT! We must make the most of every moment! *calculations of the # of days may not

Strange Day

I would have gotten through the day better if I was dazzled by Edward, however, truth be told, I wasn't I was sleep deprived and hungry though the first part of the day. The practical sessions were not horrible, just unpleasant. For PIA, we had a teacher who was moody-er than me! One minuite she was scolding a group of girls, the next she was laughing. It was strange. My group didn't get to do the practical! All the pipetting down the drain , literally. For P Mic, we didn't get anything done either! For some strange reason, someone got hold of our reagents and used it up! It was a mess! Oh and I think I did so well for the PIA quiz -NOT! To top it all off, I left my wallet in the computer lab. I only realized when I was halfway home, I was going to buy Doritos (my achiles heel)! So from the Mini mart, I had to dash to school, call the attendant-thank the gods he didn't get home before I got there, and get him to open the lab. Phew! My life is in my wallet! ID, Cards

misses and messes

Misunderstandings seems to be the theme of today. Small thing snowballed out of control. I guess knowledge isn't power. Personal accounts can be highly inaccurate and the words that we use still leave room for interpretation, and hence, misinterpretation. I am going to keep my big mouth shut form now on, until we hold an open forum (a "meeting" for everyone to voice their opinions without passing judgement first) and get everything out in the open. If it takes place, I am sure of one thing, the gloves will come off and the claws will come out. It seems like a messy undertaking but I truly believe that relationships can be saved and camaraderie maintained.

My Stupidity

I am an idiot. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have said anything! I believe that if I have more information about something, I'll be able to make decisions better so I wanted to give him that information. I thought that maybe he could make wiser decisions, instead... I tried my best to explain, now, he's sad, hurt and angry . Now I'm irritated at myself. I feel guilty as hell. I think he misunderstood . I think he overreacted. I rhink he needs time to think this through. I only told him to be a good friend. I told him because I thought it was in his best interests to know. I would want to know! Apparently it wasn't in his best interests. I think he's making the wrong choice , but what can I do? I can't kidnap him and force him to do what I want. He needs to calm down. The whole group needs to have a talk to get all the issues out in the open. I need to get high, because when you're this low, there's no where else to go but up. Right?!

Gag.

Just when I thought I was chillaxed , I come to school and a project slaps me in the face. Sigh. I got all tense and lost my composure. I missed two lectures too. Space Suit lab was so overrated. It was awkward and just plain strange, especially with Dr Al ~ new pet name! :D there. The whole thing just showed us how unprepared we really were. Sigh.

The Over-inflated-balloon version of Ron

At 12 noon, I shall don my space suit and look absolutely silly for 30 minuites. I'm so glad we're doing P mic in groups and not as a whole class because that means that less people will see the over-inflated-balloon version of Ron (and I'm not talking about my ego). Lol. Actually I think this lab will be really cool and I don't really mind the space suit so much. I can't sleep. I've been band hunting to no avail! Sigh, no new music. What shall I do with myself? I even looked at the local pool of bands for any cool music bubbling under the radar, I know there must be some cool music hiding somewhere in cyberspace. I just can't seem to find it. Sigh. Anyways, yes, my parents finally found out about my piercing, after 10 months. My my, that's a new record for me. The reaction wasn't as bad as I thought. My Dad went "tsk-tsk kids these days" why my Mum said "take that stud off!" and I obeyed. I just failed to mention that I put a pla

Sigh

One of my classmates seems to have an impenetrable hide. The lot of his group mates are pissed at him and he doesn't seem to notice. He bites off more than he can chew. Multitasking is not his forte. I just hope he becomes more careful about his decisions. I mean he's a great person and all, he's just... well, some people are just hard to work with.

New House

Two moves in one year, my my, this year's been busy. Anyways, yes, I have just moved from somewhere in Tampines St 11 to right across school. Whoo! That would probably mean that I can wake up 45 mins before school starts~ I probably won't, but at least I have the option of sleeping in. Anyways, the actual move was on Friday which was a nightmare for me. First CCN was on, then it was off, then I had a project thingie to hand in and some group discussion thing with a teacher. I was up till late on Thursday preparing for the project submission. Friday evening was a roller coaster for me, I was initially pissed at the way the furniture in my room was arranged, Fung Shui and all but that was quickly sorted with the help of my Dad. I then started off doing some cleaning. Apparently, the previous tenants had an aversion to cleaning so, to put it simply, the place was an absoloute pig sty. Afterwards, some unpacking then the making of the bed and lastly food. Today was pretty much spen

Stressed and Fraying

I can make phone calls and sms! Yay! Finally. I got my service back only yesterday. I never realized how much I relied on my phone till I lost the ability to remain contactable. Anyways, I know that I haven't really been blogging lately. I haven't really had the time. Sure, I'm always in front of the computer but nothing interesting has happened. Right now, I'm just your basic overworked, under payed, stressed out twenteen year old. I'm up to my ears with school work and my social life has become my antisocial life. I've got a meeting tomorrow and I know that most likely two of my groupmates won't be able to come. Sigh. I'm most stressed about the fact that the P Mic report is due on Friday and its supposed to be 10 pages long. We're up to 8 pages and three of my groupmates' work isn't included yet! How on earth am I supposed to squeeze the damn thing to fit 8 pages when the text size, font and spacing are standardized?! WTH! Nick is getting

Sleepless Nights

Sleepless Nights~ by Faber Drive (thanks to whoever gave me this song, can't remember who.) Changed my blog song to something more appropriate for what I'm feeling. Anyways, I'm packing my life up in a box. I wish things were different. I wish everything were different. I want a different life.

Soap Opera

Today's been full of highs and lows, mostly lows. I was cut off from my phone privileges due to the fact that someone neglected to pay the bills I was able to hang out with the girls at Popeyes I was an innocent bystander during my parents' marital spat - I shall spare you from the gory details I was completely dumbfounded by P Mic, and still am. I was surprised to find out that there are no more chocolates in the house as I had managed to munch my way though the last of the Chocolate factory stash hence leaving me yearning for yet another distraction from my TV Drama life. Well, at least I have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, a school to go to and friendships to look forward to , which is more than I can say for some people. Strangely enough, none of the positive things that I've mentioned seems to give me some peace of mind. They just seem like insignificant nuances of the life I presently have. Why do I feel that way? Those things that I do have can just as easily be ri
Apparently, during my P Mic group meeting (and yes you did read that correctly, a group meeting on a Sunday- has Rowan turned over a new leaf?) , my parents decided on a flat right across school. There was talk about the suspension of my allowance and travel privileges . Obviously I was horror struck. Trick or treat indeed. Just because I was going to start living near school, doesn't mean that I want to spend every moment, not to mention break at home, ergo I need an allowance. I'm twenty years old for Christ sakes! I have needs and one of them is of course a need to have a life separate to that of my parents, and that, involves money. Sigh. I really hope my Dad was kidding. I do not want to spend my life under my parents' rule. Anyways, if that happens, I am prepared to get a job and keep it, even if an unfortunate by product of that is my failing a subject, or else, simply go back to the Philippines. I will not stand for this injustice. I am starting my hunger strike /

Randomly stressed

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I was waiting for gossip girl to load and I decided to pass tha time by paying a visit to Neopets.com I know I'm more than a bit too old for this kind of stuff but well...its just part of my freaktarded tendencies and I came across this: c) 2000-2008 Neopets, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Used With Permission Lol its just so damn cute! Anyways, I guess you can probably see that I am pretty bored. Anyways, I tried on my jumpsuit/ spacesuit thing like Hamidah did and I have to say, I look like a balloon version of Rowan. LOL! It was hilarious! I know I need to get on with some of my projects but I just thought that I should have a day off. Anyways, tomorrow's another day, and another project meeting. Sigh. Monday means the start of another "project" not to mention the fact that I have to write a resume and a cover letter. HELP!

:(

I am thoroughly stressed and it is not about school. School does have a high contributing factor though but there are other things going on at home. Apparently my mum no longer has the pair of bangles that she loves to wear and some of you may know why. I guess you can say that I'm pretty sad because never in a million years did I ever see this coming. My lovely little house in the Philippines might be in danger of being repo-ed and I hope that doesn't happen. I love that little house, its really the first building that I considered was my home. Right now I'm pretty absorbed by school work especially PMic not because I like it, but because it is a nice distraction from that ugly place in my mind. I wish I could get a job, even if it was part time. Okay, I know I said that I was sad... I guess I'm not. I'm miserable. I feel guilty for spending even the smallest cent. I shouldn't have signed up to buy the text book. :(
The first week of school is far from over (project meetings etc.)and the workload is a far cry from what I'm used to. Normally I'd prefer having projects compared to coursework but this term is far from what I'm used to. Top that off with problems at home and I've got myself a very stressful week. The folks aren't home but somehow with so many things going on, I haven't been able to soak in their momentary lack of input in my life.

Popeyes Chicken

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Is been good days with the ladies and yes, that includes Yas as well. We went to the airport and ate Popeyes just like in year 1. Nostalgia much?

blah

Yesterday was spent at the symposium and the reunion of classmates took place. It was cool. There are pictures but I won't upload them now. Speaking of pictures, I have to say that I am extremely dissapointed at the fact that Hotmail and Yahoomail do not allow the attachment of files greater that 10mb. Sigh. Today was spent mostly sleeping which is surprisingly unusual because I went to bed early the other day. Anyways, the main event of today was that I got to chat with an old friend and that everything is pretty much great back in the Philippines. I can't believe I'm saying this but in spite of the school holidays, I want to go on a -what else? I want to go on a holiday just to escape for a while. Life, here, truly sucks.

The King of Blog Entries

THE KING OF BLOG ENTRIES Okay, so I haven't been blogging for a while, but then again, who has? I look at my friends' blogs and well...lets just say that everybody seems to be getting lazier about writing. We got our schedules today. I got Marketing as my elective. I'm not too happy about that. I really really wanted to get the Clinical trials as an elective, but alas. Bright side: Incompetent isn't in my class. Fel and Ayu are in my class... so at least there is no shortage of peeps to talk to. Down side: Chee, Mids, Jo and Jessic aren't in my class. We only have 2 breaks together. They will be missed. Bright side: Marketing elective isn't as demanding as Clinical trials = more sleeping in. Down side: No more free Fridays, more not-so-interesting subjects. Down side: New classmates= awkward moments? Its kinda intimidating to see my schedule... all I see are the initials of the subjects I'm going to take, so really, I don't know what kind of trip I'

BACKWARDS

BACKWARDS, RIGHT TO LEFT. BOTTOM TO TOP ...LLEW...EVOL DLUOHS I ELPOEP ETH LLA...SDRAWKCAB NROB SAW I TAHT KNIHT I SEMTEMOS T'NOD I ...MORF YAWA YATS DLUOHS I ELPOEP DNA SGNIHT EHT LLA

Bipolar? Or is it the coffee?

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Click to enlarge. There are other photos... from cycling too. I'll just e mail them. Too many. What may have seemed like a pretty good day to anyone else was kinda off for me. I don't know what the effing hell is wrong with me. One minute I was genuinely happy and LOL-ing, then after a while... as if all of a sudden I realize that more effort has to be put into smiling. I hope I did not make anyone uncomfortable... hopefully no one noticed...I didn't want to spoil it for everyone else. Yep...I'm pretty sure no one noticed. My parents barely noticed my break down in Secondary School. I seriously think I'm bipolar. After the movie... I was pretty much close to tears. Right now, in all honesty, my hands are clammy and cold...its either that or I'm having some sort of adverse emotional reaction to the Starbucks Coffee. Lol. I need a drink amongst other things...a puff?

Pics!

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My Hair! Untame-able! Definately a bad hair day! Pictures from thursday! I love the wishy washy color pallette. I need a real camera! Hope the guys are up for bowling. I think the folks and I are going to see a movie tomorrow. Parental bonding... its usually kind of awkward, but sometimes it can be fun.

Slightly more tan

My arms are slightly redder and my tan line more pronounced. We went cycling etc... too tired to upload pictures... I'll do that tomorrow.

Babylon AD

I just watched Babylon AD and well... here are my preconceptions: 1. Vin Diesel is kinda cool... remember xxx? 2. The movie must have a really interesting plot since its named after a biblical place 3. It's an action and sci-fi film Here's what I thought when we got out of the movie theatre: 1. Vin Diesel's cool appeal has diminished 2. Michelle Yeoh is cooler that I initially thought 3. The character Aurora looks like a freaking real life Brats doll 4. It was action... the film looked spectacular (stunt wise etc.) 5. But It just did not make that much sense to me... the plot was...how should I put it...BAD! Here's the down low... The movie started out fine... of course in a movie you expect to understand more of it as you go along with the plot but NO! Overall, the film was a disapointment. I should have real the reviews first.

Green

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My room has had a few additions which I brought home form DRP. I think my room is going to turn into some kind of plant nursery or something. I hope my cactus seeds sprout. Speaking of DRP... It's finally over. It was very horticultural. Lucky for me I like green, the color and the idea. I still have to get my essay done. Sigh.

Girl's Day Out!

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I've had a pretty decent day. We, My cousin, her friends... who soon became my friends, and me of course, went to Sentosa. It was pretty nice to hang out with people older than me. I was the little sister for a day. Krish's past office-mates have decided to try their luck looking for a job here in Singapore. They arrived on Monday and Krish, Tin and I took it upon ourselves to show them around. Here are the pics and I have to say it was awesome that I got to touch and albino reticulated python named Lucy! They so feel like hand bags! I am now officially against snakeskin leather. The Merlion, as seen from the monorail With Lucy! :D Eats after. Today's really been a girls night out.

what the fork?

What the fork?! Soo cute! You have to see this videoclip from youtube... its of my niece Macyn and she's trying to say "fork". Can you hear what she's saying?

awesomeness

Yay me! I am now officially on holiday! Sure... school ended two weeks ago but today, we got our exam results and I passed every thing! I was so effing worried about failing PUO. I passed everything! I am so glad...even if I just have a C+... that's more than some people. Al and Jay were the soldiers who had suffered losses in our war against the exams. I feel sad for them...but I'm sure with a little more time with the books they'll pass well. It was also the first day of DRP. Sure... It wasn't jump out of your seat awesome.. but it wasn't bad. I'm doing "Micropropagation of Rare and Exotic Plants". We had to make agar and learn how to subculture. It was okay but I have to say it was after which that things got interesting. There were some revelations in our little "clique"...I mean... I so didn't know that Yas shared the same tastes in music as me! Awesome! I have to say it was nice hanging out after DRP... and yes...Yas was there. She

Pics!

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Its 7.25 and I'm awake bright and early... which is so unlike me. The reason for that is that I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. All in all it was pretty good, but there were some odds and ends that J.K Rowling didn't tie up so well. I shall not elaborate and spoil it for those of you who haven't finished namely Carissa. :D Anyways, yes I am awake.. I didn't et a wink of sleep after I finished the book. I was lost in a train of thought that just won't leave me time to sleep. It was all odd. Anyways, I've decided to upload the pictures from the last day of school so... after I finish my other file transferrs, I shall be uploading them. Here they are! Click to enlarge @ Swensens! Hungry Felicia! Joanne and Hamidah stare. Shiny hair! lol! Strange people were watching on the sidelines. Super pose! They ran out of money so they're begging for some. I will upload the rest later! I'm of to Jurpong Bird Park! :D

Bored

Disclamer: Be preparied to read a blog entry about nothing in particular. I've gotten as close as I can to getting cabin fever from getting cooked up in my room. I am hating inactivity and being broke. My being broke is preventing me form leaving the house and having a little more fun. As much as I'd hate to say it, I miss school. I'm sick of tv and cheesey computer games. Stoning has never been my thing. I'd like to have a library card and drown myself in unfathomable stories fashioned to amuse. I'ts been ages since I've read a book not pertaing to Harry Potter. It's a pity I've already read all of the books in my room. I'd like to practice more on my guitar but unfortunately, one of the strings broke during the exam week and nonetheless, its out of tune so right now, what used to be my guitar is now a useless hunk of wood collecting dust in my room. Reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is turning out to be a glamorized treasure hunt. I'

aftermath

I thought F Path was bad. Me saying that PUO was much worse, is an understatement. It was horrible. The only thing that made this thing bearable was the "afterparty". I will post the pics soon. I am dog tired.
What F Path really means: F- Freaktarded or the other F word P- Pain inducing A- Agonizing T- Torture H- Hypertensive disorder This subject is utterly ridicoulous! There are 3 topic but what...18 sub topics! I am going bonkers! I'm almost done studying... I just have 5 more subtopics to go! Gulp! I haven't even started studying for Wednesdays' Exam yet!

Distracted

I am so freakishly distracted and I need to come back down to earth and focus. It's been quite hard to fo cus lately especially since: 1. My cousin has been sleeping in my room resulting in my losing sleep. As you know sleep is crucial, since I do most of my studying at night, Its just harder to concentrate. (I loose sleep not because she's noisy or anything, its just that, I've been sleeping in my own room, alone for 15 years and I am just used to having my room to myself) 2. The Olimpics have been on for days... thank goodness its over. 3. There is a lot of food in the house because we recently had a visitor (also the reason for #1)

Exams

As you can probably tell, I've changed my blog skin. I've been working on it for a while and I must say that I can't imagine making a blog skin from scratch...all those codes!! Maddening. This is all keeping in the theme of new beginnings. New semester, new classes and new subjects thank god! . Even though one of those subjects, Pharmaceutical Microbiology, does involve donning a marshmallow/space suit that as Carissa said looked "haha" on me, me thinks that I'm ready for a change. I am pretty jived about the new semester simply because I'm sick and tired of this current sem. I can't wait to graduate. Slowly but surely I'm getting rid of this semester's subjects and Yay! We only have two more to go! Translation: four more sleep deprived days. 5 more days till the holidays! I can't wait!

Pick me up movies

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It's been a really hectic week, tying up loose ends, finishing reports and trying to absorb as much knowledge as we can before study week starts. I can't believe the holidays are almost here! There's a term test on Monday and The Exams start on Friday! I can bot believe how fast this term has gone by. I feel as if I barely even know my classmates and that I haven't learned much. It's really strange that term 2.2 is starting! There will be that long and much anticipated break of doing nothing but lazing around! Yay! It's a pity though, that I won't get to go back to the Philippines. Anyways, I just watched 2 movies, "Wall-E" and "Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging" and they are really my type of movies. Sure, they don't really make you think, but they're light-hearted and fun. Not the kind of heavily emotional stuff, in other words, a perfect pick me up! Sure, emo movies are pretty nice sometimes but well, right now, since I'm

Celebrate! :D

Yesterday... or, well, its still going on actually, a celebration of China's milestones was held to greet the Olympians. It was amazing and the Chinese have a right to be happy. I believe that making Bejing the home of the 2008 Olympics accelerated China's growth even more. It really is amazing to see the giant beast of a country finally open its doors to the rest of the world. Today, is Singapore's international day. Whoo! I really believe that there is much cause for celebration. We all need our little perks once in a while and a party does just that. Its a pity few people I know actually take the time to celebrate their Singaporean-ness. Sure, I'm not Singaporean but I think that a country should scream and shout their lungs out to remember its past and look to the future. Maybe if they did that more often, they would be so much more appreciative and less complacent. My parents also celebrated this evening. The reason...they made new friends in church since they join

he dies

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This is a speech made by Mr Edward Magorium from Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium~ a film written and directed by Zach Helm, what most would consider a movie for a children. "When King Leer dies in act five, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written, 'he dies'. That's all, nothing more, no fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final word. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is 'he dies'. It takes Shakespeare changes to come up with 'he dies', and yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with disphorea... and I know its only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "he dies" but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts Mahoney and I'm not asking you to be happy that I must go, I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading, and let the next story begin. And if anyone should ask what became of me, you relate m

Miss Invisible

I'm feeling more than just a little bit down for reasons which I am unable to decipher. It is difficult to siphon out the source of the misery weighing me down, simply because there are so many sources of misery present. Marie Digby's Original Song, Listen to: Miss Invisible There's a girl Who sits under the bleachers Just another day eating alone And though she smiles There is something just hiding And she cant find a way to relate She just goes unnoticed As the crowd passes by And she'll pretend to be busy When inside she just wants to cry She'll say... Chorus Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible Look a little closer, I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible Look a little harder and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day When you'll ask her her name The begining, in the first weeks of class She did everything to try and fit in But the others they couldn't see

Pause Life!

The man who had acted as a foster father (grand-uncle) to me when my parents left me for work is now dead. As you can imagine, I am devastated. It came as a shock to me, even though he had been struggling with kidney failure for a number of years. Him and his wife practically raised me from an age of 4 through 9. I hope that if there is an afterlife, he is no longer suffering. I wish his family well. We, the extended family members are waiting on what his immediate family is going to do. Will his wife move in with their daughter in the states? Where will his grand-kids go? I hope things work themselves out because the death of a loved one is a hard burden to bear. I am crestfallen. It is agonizing to not be able to be there for your family when they need you the most. It sucks that the only thing I can do is sit back and live life as per normal, when the only thing I want to do is stop time to let them cope. Daily life feels like it should be suspended when something like this happens.

Dark Colors

The sky was gray and the weather was cold and gloomy. My mind struggled to escape from the confines of the room at an attempt to frolic in the rainy weather outside, but alas, I was shocked back into the grim, mundane reality by another failure. It was a failing mark which I had originally expected but nonetheless this did not soften the blow. "Oh why now?" I thought. The last thing I wanted to do was contemplate what I did wrong. I wasn't having a particularly good day since the person whom I had thought was one of my best friends seems to have been ignoring me completely. In addition, there was a quiz not-so-bright and early this morning. On top of that, my Mum's been in a bad mood lately and, well, she has been projecting her anger on me. Oh and, I've still got quite a substantial amount of work to finish up for my freehand drawing class THAT was the cherry on the already bad day. It seems like this day is never going to end!

sleepy

Phew, the workload has finally diminished as the projects draw to a close. I am tired and not in a good mood. I am pissed for not being able to take a quiz. Strange no? We usually avoid quizzes... but missing a quiz that could affect my final grade is not so nice. Stupid E-learning. Pffffft. To add to this, I am constantly being taunted by posters and radio promotions which keep reminding me that I can't go to the concert. Its cruel, like dangling a carrot on a string in front of a rabbit. Visible but unattainable. At least I get to watch Batman on Saturday and go for a hike.

i want holidays........... NOW!!

I am up to my neck in work! I am so glad that the Organic Chemistry Assignment is finally over. There were a couple of things that I had forgotten to assign to one of my group mates which I had ended up doing. It's hard to do good work when you're rushing for time. On top of the OC thing, I have to do research for the Marketing~ retail aspect of another project. Another thing, I have two quizzes GULP... TODAY !! I am so far beyond being stretched too thin and I am not just talking about academia, life in general has ceased to be fun. Speaking of fun, I want so badly to go to SINGFEST!! I need to recharge and have some positive stresses for a while. I so can not wait for the September holidays. I miss my friends from secondary school. GUYS!! Just in case you stopped by... CALL ME!! WE NEED TO GO OUT!!

Imbecile

Never in my entire life have I met someone as incompetent as... well I can't really mention his name can I. Anyways, during the completion of the OC2 assignment, someone in my group has proved to be even more of an idiot that I had thought. I mean, I AM a tough critic but the general population seem to surpass my expectations which are often based on first impressions. This guy apparently doesn't. I am utterly disappointed with the type of work this person has been doing. Alright, let me give you the down low: I being the group leader asked my team mates which part of the assignment they wanted to do and this certain someone volunteered to do a particularly difficult part of the assignment. Thinking that this person could complete that particular aspect of the work, we decided that he would do it. Cum time to compile the work, I find that to my utter horror the work he has done is substantially SUB STANDARD. Now, I am doing the best I can to salvage some parts of it which have

Face Value

I was looking around an old friend's blog and came across an acquaintance's blog. To my surprise, the seemingly off anarchist is surprisingly not as off as he seems. I hope that made sense. It was incredible how much we take things at face value and how little we take the time to get to know someone as they really are. This guy, he seemed to always be aloof and distant, unfriendly and a deviant. Sure, he is all that but it was just made known to me that there is much more to him than I had previously known. Indeed I was judgemental, heck, so has he and so many people. It is our nature to classify things and even people to make it easier to understand them. It is a shame though that disagreements and misunderstandings can occur from this. People surprise me.

Numb

This week has caused me a great deal of stress. The workload is not exactly large, just the freehand drawing assignments. Apparently, I am 2 assignments behind, then again, so are my classmates. I have to admit though, although half of the semester has gone by, only now are the subjects starting to grow on me. Despite of my growing liking of school, I still want a day off. I want to just go somewhere unusual or new just to chill and forget about the daily stresses. I need a change of pace. I am glad to say that I have been becoming increasingly shallow. I must attribute thist phenomenon to the fact that this demeaning form of living has caused my character to become more and more mundane or in my opinion more boring. I am painfully wishing to have more interesting interactions with my fellow peers as I am feeling incredibly uninterested in social anythings anymore. Those of you who know me very well may find this immensely familiar. One good thing about this strange dynamic is that I n

Life is Good.

My folks came back on Wednesday bearing gifts, mainly the biggest bar of chocolate I have ever seen and a big bag of nougat. It was nice to not have to take care of the house an to finally have my allowance back. I know I haven't really been writing much. I think it's got something to do with the fact that I am pretty much problem free. Oh alright, not exactly problem free but, well lets just say that I haven't had a major difficulty in anything yet. It's pretty much smooth sailing. Thank goodness. Also, I seem to have gotten pretty good marks for everything... well that is, except for Organic Chemisty, for which I barely got a pass. So far the only thing I've got to worry about are mundanely stressful things like school work and budgeting my allowance and oh running into people from my past lives. Yep for the first time, I can finally say that I've gotten a hang of thing called life (or something like it at least). Life IS good!

Hols are ending!!

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It is Sunday and no doubt the end of a 2 week vacation that I didn't really enjoy. I wish I'd made more of the two weeks than I did. Sigh, I am serously and not so secretly jealous of Krish, Nica and my folks for being able to go out of the country for their vacation. Sigh, out of all the people that live in this house, I'm the only one who wasn't able to travel. Sigh. My parents are at Australia, I hope they get me something.... it better be good! Friday was awesome though, I got a chance to go out with my Krish and Amy. It was pretty cool. We ate at Clark Quay and got into a bit of a fuss when it came to paying the bill. It was hillarious. After a very expensive meal, which sucked , we walked around for a while, snapping pictures and acting like a bunch of crazy tourists. Some pics: Note the fact that there are only 2 photos with me in it... that's coz I was the one behind the camera! I have to say, it was nice to hang with some older people for a change. Anyways

Movies... Chick Flicks

In my free time, usually sometime between midnight and the crack of dawn I watch movies and well, I have found The Hottie and The Nottie starring Paris Hilton hilarious! Sure, Paris Hilton plays a key role in this strange version of the West Side Story but I have to admit, her actually participating in this movie to poke fun at her image is very admirable. It is a chick flick and by all means, if you are a straight guy, you might not enjoy this movie so much. Of course, there are sightings of the porn star nearly in the buff so that might keep you sitting in your seats till the middle of the movie. I give it 3 stars out of 10 Another movie I enjoyed was What Happens in Vegas . The adorable Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz played the lead roles and it was fairly entertaining. Yes my friends it is another chick flick. It is very funny, sappy and well,s ad to say hopelessly predictable at times. I'd give it 5 stars. I watched Over Her Dead Body last night and I enjoyed the kooky

this could be it!

This could so be the start of something new! I can't stop smiling. Sana this is it na talaga. Can you imagine some random mundane thing happening, leading up to...well I don't know what. It is all so weird. I've had an uber good day.

Random Rants

No more negative thoughts. I know I shouldn't stay inside my head too long, I need to keep busy and whether I like to admit it or not, I miss school. My cousin is packing, she's going back to the Philippines. Wish I could join her. Anyways, went window shopping today. Now, I have lots of things to save for... stressful. Sigh. What ever happened to, "always look on the bright side of life"? Bright Side: Lotsa Birthdays this week and last. In case I haven't greeted you, Happy B Day! Peng, wherever you are, Hope this birthday is as sweet as the last! Miss you! The OC project MEETING has proved to be excruciating to organise... I wonder how I got stuck with the job and well, we have FINALLY set a time to meet. Another thorn out of my side. The holidays are here! I can wake up at 2pm almost everyday! Erm, my Folks are going out of town... don't know if that's a good thing.

Honesty

I care too much I wish I didn't care so much People I love always seem to hurt me I wish I didn't love you so much I think too much and say too little I can't say what I think I know that it will hurt you By doing so, hurting me I am afraid to be vulnerable You've let me down more than once I've cried too much over spilt milk I can't bear thinking about spilling some more But it is inevitable I am human and so are you We all make mistakes As open as my mind is, I know yours are as closed Misunderstandings and misinterpretations Skew Our lives I know what I have to do, but I just don't have the heart to do it. I wish you knew. I am not perfect and I embrace every single character flaw that I have I wish you would.

Dissapointment

I hate it when people are disappointed with me. I go along with what they want so that they don't GET dissapointed . I get so sick and tired of doing something I hate so I give up. After all of the work trying to please them, they are still dissapointed. Is there really no way out of this draining cycle?!

The Box

I am bound to act on rules which limit my actions but do not limit my thoughts and opinions. These rules are constructed to form a perfect little shield, a perfect little lie around what is in actuality a real person, a personality which is not made to fit into a box. Sometimes the thing that is me has to be squeezed into a box, packaged and ready for consumption like the orange in the juice carton. By no means is forcing a square peg into a round hole painless. The odd bits and ends have to be snipped off or tucked in to fit. Against my wishes, through personality modification (aka life and its antagonists), parts of me are shaved off to satisfy the people who think they know better. I am sick of the box. I am tired of being less that what I want to be. I want to break loose and be the ugly, imperfect person that I am. The Id needs to have a say. I want to have a say in what kind of monster I become. Everyone has a box they have to deal with. I'm getting the scissors. A Perfect l

Pareidolia

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Fascinating. It caught my eye. I know I should so be studying but well... I can't seem to stop looking for Pareidolia online. Its mind boggling! For those of you who do not know what it is, a Pareidolia is an ordinary object or sound that is perceved to have some meaning. For example, you were lying awake in your bed. The wind rustled the papers on your desk and you thought you heard someone calling your name. Its when you play a song backwards and you hear coherent sentences being formed by a robotic sounding voice (Back-masking) Its when you are about to put a potato chip in your mouth and you notice that it has a face. A famous example of this is the face seen on pictures of the Martian surface. Its supposed to be caused by our brain's talent in recognizing patterns such as faces and sounds. Our brain wants things to make sense, it groups things together to make sense out of it hence, a series of little dots could look like a picture etc. Check out this link... a picture of

Rose Colored Glasses

I like fictional, fantastical movies. Real life is just too meaningless to be made into a decent and interesting movie. When life takes a turn and becomes beautiful and meaningful, we're too busy and distracted to notice. We are distracted by the dull and mundane stresses of our day to day life and seem to ignore the urge to appreciate the beauty in our day to day interactions. Fiction appeals to us simply because it is fiction. It points out the beauty which we do not often see everyday. Life- Dreams = Work As Torey Haden said, The saddest part about being human is the depth of our ignorance. I really think we should put on some rose colored glasses once in a while.

THE BLAH LIFE

The Cook wins, just like I thought he would. Sure, the comments were not that good but Simon being the honest man that he is reviewed his comments and well... that was that. It was a landslide with 12 million votes in favor of David. Ah, David, the loving brother and former bartender has finally emerged as the winner of American Idol 7. I'm glad he won because for me, ever since he stepped into the audition room, looking as sloppy as he did and opened his mouth to sing, I knew. Rock star. Archuletta was pretty good and I have to admit, I was pretty worried about him winning, with all of his underage fans and his pop-ish take on contemporary songs. Overall I'd have to say that it was a close one for me. ____________________________________________________________ Can you imagine what David Cook and so many others before him have reached? When something takes you out of your bland lifestyle and puts you in front of flashbulbs and cameras, into the alluring life of fame, you becom

Crammathon

I am about three-quarters through my crammathon and I think I might just make it out alive. Anyways...I just wanted to get some thoughts down in writing. I think I may have found myself a new niche... but I'm not telling all just yet, not until I'm sure anyways. On other things, I'm using every trick in the cramming textbook to insert even more facts into my already almost exploding brain. I think it's working! I feel smarter believe it or not, that Adam Khoo workshop I attended on 2006 is actually being put into good use. Ooh yeah, believe it or not, I'm actually considering my CSAS teachers' offer to join some public speaking contest. Sigh... I think whatever I gain from it will be of use in the near future. Anyways, this coming break is the only school break that I'm not going back to the Philippines so... it's not like I have anything better to do during the hols. Anyways, the whole public speaking scare of 2005 seems to not bother me so much. My ego

Irked!

Four days equates to a more than substantial weekend but I am however sad to say that I don't think I've made particularly good use of it. There are three tests next week. I have started studying for all three. Started being the operative word. Started but not completed. I am swamped. It's a good thing I have a coping mechanism to keep me from getting too stressed. Unfortunately this strange coping mechanism of mine involves avoiding all work for as long as possible which eventually allows me to experience all of the stress in a short amount of time. Now THAT'S when I turn to coffee as my stress buster. In the near future, namely TONIGHT, I see myself burning the midnight oil to finish my PUO tutorial, study for the PUO quiz and last but sadly not the least, finishing up my freehand drawing assignment which involves me drawing part of the school . Sigh. It sure is a good thing that I work pretty fast. I wonder how on earth am I going to cope with my year three workload

Parents

My laptop is finally home. Sigh... Dad sent it off to be fixed. It's kinda fixed. It still turns off its wireless radios by itself which is terribly annoying especially when I try to watch a movie. Anyways, I've been stoning the whole day and well... I know I should be studying, with three quizzes in my near future but I also know that I'll probably pass. There are still three days to cram. Sigh, Friday passed by like lightning. Time keeps ticking past you. You have to keep chasing it, but it never runs out, except when you need it the most. I advice you, enjoy your time here for never can you relive a moment that has past no matter how hard you wish. I guess I have to say that no matter how hard I try to live with no regrets, I still have them, especially pertaining to my parents. I wish certain things could have happened differently and I didn't have certain experiences but truth be told, if my folks didn't do what they did, I would not be who I am today... and I

Deviated

*Note: For this blog entry not to end up in a debate in what is normal and abnormal, I shall define normal as a term synonymous with average and ergo, abnormal as a deviation from the average.- have to define or some of my more argumentative friends... I won't mention who.. will initiate a full blown debate. I love debates folks, but not today. Too tired. I will be stuck with strange people with whom I would have to cooperate with to get a decent grade. All right, I guess I'm not exactly the most normal person of the bunch but I'm in the 10 % deviation from the norm. Certain people in my group are pretty deviated towards abnormality. Haha! Kidding. But seriously... they are weird. Ah! Here's another thing. People that aren't normally weird are acting weird.

Dissapearing Act

Alone... at last. It's not like I dislike anyone or anything like that. I've been feeling all sorts of antisocial lately. I guess I'm just getting sick of considering other people's feelings. I want to be insensitive for once It takes less effort. Everything is not lemon drops and rainbows and it's exhausting to act like it is. Di ko maintindihan yung mga kaklase ko. Minsan naiisip ko na lang na ibang iba yung ugali nila. Lucky them. Sigh. I am overworked and underpaid, well not to mention the fact that I don't even get paid. Considering that I don't have a job. Kailangan ko ng distraction para di ako mashadong ma stress. I am in hyper drive. All the time. Three quizzes next week plus a presentation Sorry... I feel the need to embrace my national language. I find solace in solitude. Happy B Day Ayu!

Tick Tock

Sigh... days go by so fast and well... I just wish to be stagnant for a moment without being left behind. I feel like I'm chasing time, which of course always seems to run out. As a wise man once said, Time waits for no one so allright... I'm going to start running to catch up. On other things.... Mother's day was pretty nice I guess. I'm not really that close to my mum but well.. I know she tries her best. I got her coffee and Krish got her a mug. Thanks guys for bearing with my shopping needs :D. Shopping alone almost always sucks so it was nice to have some company. Thursday was good.... except for the obnoxious sales guy form Starbucks 'Nyways, my mum liked the coffee. Friday was a sort of lazy rush how oxymoronic for the CSAS deadline for the powerpoint slides. Sigh... I wish I liked my teacher, but well, she's just so darn unlikable. Sigh. I've got to revise for the F Path Quiz so... again, here's me chasing time. NOTE: I CAN'T SEEM TO STOP F

undefined

enigmatic smiles double meanings spontaneity mind games illegal hidden dark deviated gray zones not defined crossing boundaries That's what makes it so utterly exhilarating and unique. I don't know what to call it. All I know is that it feels good to have something... undefined

Mai

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Happy B day Maricon! Been very very occupied with work. I am so tired. I can't wait for friday for I must get some sleep. I really really need to sleep. Sleep deprivation makes me extremely cranky.

Boredom

A four day weekend would give one much time to do what she wanted. You would think that a 20 year old wouldn't run out of things to do. Watched Saw 3 online- Wonderfully Icky I've just finished a 250 gramme chocolate bar, Just cleaned the common toilet. It is now spotless, Tried to correct the F Path Assignment. Tried being the imperative word. Gotten eight chapters in to "Parasite Positive"-It's Brilliant! Checked my e-mail. Watched some trash on TV. And now, I'm working my way though an audiobook. (I guess I'm just too lazy to read the thing!) I can't think of anything else to do... though if it were up to my Mum , I wouldn't have a reason to be bored as she would send me off doing house chores, which would in reality, leave me even more brain dead than when I started. Menial work is so... what exactly? I don't exactly look down on people whose jobs it is to do these menial tasks but... well.. I just hope I won't be stuck doing them. It

Unlucky?

Yesterday was the worst lab session I've ever had in my whole history of lab sessions. Apparently, our lecturer has an anger management problem that she might have to get some help for. So It was around 8.20 in the morning and I was waiting for bus 8 to arrive. Sure enough it came at around 8.30, it was full so it passed the bus stop without really stopping. About ten minuites later another bus passed by, full again. 8.50, I finally got on a bus, barely. I arrived at the entrance and checked my schedule where the lab would be. I rushed to look for it but for the sake of me, I couldn't figure out where it was! After about five minuites of searching, I found it. I was late but a ray of light shone down on me and I was not yet 15 minuites late, I was not going to be marked as absent. When I got into the lab, I realized that Ms Angry was scolding the class for not handing in the pre-lab report. I had not done the pre-lab either. I rolled my eyes. I had had enough screaming and shou

song

I changed the background music... I'm feeling a little senti. Foolish Heart by Nina, a Filipina

art

Listen to FM Static - Nice Piece of Art

Filtration

My life is Simple but never Static I'm completely out of my League Emotionally complicated Completely unrehersed Sometimes, or rather most of the time there is some kind of "filter" in everyone's brains that prevents them from saying exactly what their thinking in that very moment. For me however, the "filter" only filters out offensive or evil thoughts. That's why people often think that well.. duh I'm weird. But I say... everyone out there, you should embrace your individual weirdness! Hehehe I'm just glad that even though I may have a faulty filter... I'm still able to keep my system files hidden.

jumbled thoughts

E learning is horribly tedious. I actually like the subject Fundamentals of Pathology but the e learning thing just messes it up for me. I miss A7B8. Well, at least we'll be seeing each other tomorrow. Awkwardness is of course uncomfortable, however, prolonged exposure to awkward environments will eventually cause the level of discomfort to decrease. You get used to the strangeness. Hopefully this doesn't happen to me. I want to like my new class. I don't yet. There seem to be some strong personalities and some totally bland ones. You'll be surprised how little people try to get to know others. People seem to like to stay in their comfort zones and most find it too uncomfortable to venture out to the open long enough to get to know someone. Sad. Speaking of friends, the way two of my friends interact is hilarious! They're the very definition of uncomfortable when they speak to each other.Its so damn cute! Of course I can't really mention their names, just in th

Puzzled

This afternoon at around four o clock, as Hamidah, Carissa and I were about to enter our respective CDS classrooms, we saw a notice on the door. It said that the classes were relocated to IT 4-3-98 and 99. These rooms were described as "one level above the flavors canteen". Amused we trudged down the stairs to the 4th floor expecting for there to be classrooms there. There were no classrooms on the 4th. We went down to the 3rd floor. It was so strange. I couldn't figure out for the life of me where those classrooms were. The only rooms on the 3rd floor was the research center and some lecture theatres. So the three of us stood there and well, we thought we had read the note wrong or something... We decided to climb up to the 6th floor and check again. At this time, we were more than just a little bit late if I were actually saying that, my voice would be described as DRIPPING WITH SARCASIM . I was getting tired. Yep, the note said room IT 4-3-98. I took a picture just to

BORED!!

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Sigh... I got bored and I just couldn't think of anything else to do so I messed with one of the photos I took with my camera. It turned out pretty good I think! WELL.. All right so its not perfect... but you have to give me some credit coz I only used Paint and Microsoft Office Picture Manager. Sigh... I don't have Photoshop. I hope some kind old soul out there will take pity on me and lend me a copy to install. It took a good half an hour of my time. WHAT CAN I SAY?! I was BORED !

The first day of being in year 2

As first days go... today's been a fairly typical first day. There were the familiar faces of course but it was strange. I guess I have to admit that I didn't take too kindly being put in a class different to those who are familiar to me. There were far too many awkward moments. The subjects this time 'round are kinda freaking me out, especially Organic Chemistry 2. Sigh. Going to school has suddenly become lackluster. So far I don't really like any of the subjects. Maybe the Fundamentals of Pathology lectures will be interesting. I hope so. Ohh.. yes.. I have to mention this... I got Freehand Drawing for my CDS. Not bad eh? My only qualm is that I do not know of anyone who has gotten the same CDS as me. I guess I'm going in it alone....GULP! Hopefully everybody's nice.

Pictures... take a look!!

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here are the photos of my trip... whoohoo... I'm only uploading them now because I've finally found a computer with a fast enough internet connection that won't take me more than a half an hour to upload these photos this is what my dad's province looks like from the ship we took to get there this is what the sunset look like from the pier... gorgeous! sunset by the beach me! a fishing boat! my cousin.. Mark! my cousins, Maricon and Arvin tree house underwater smiles... these were all taken when we, my parents and I went to an isolated, out of the way island in quezon province. I felt like a tourist snapping photos. Its really beautiful there and people live simply off of the earth, take my grandfather who is a farmer.

Since I've Been Gone

Been ages since I've posted... well actually I've got tons of pictures to post but well... I think I'll do that at home.... I am now a ninang or a godmother. I have had a dress/gown ewwwww designed for me and well..I am supposed to wear it on my cousin's wedding. Sigh. I hate gowns. I've gone swimming with friends and family and caught a cold in the process...the cold then progress to become a full blown asthma attack. Arvin, my favorite maternal cousin have sort of considered that one of my cousins JM might be gay... weird. I've sneaked a couple of drinking sessions under my parents' radar..heeehheehhee I'm kinda dissapointed because I haven't seen that someone I've been hoping to see. Sigh. Ohh yeah... I've finally gotten my extra molars extracted... ouch! Three down and one to go before I get perfect teeth. What else... well... that's all I can think of right now... my next update will probably be when I get there.