Consumed
In having something I do not want, I realize what it is that I want. The only question is whether or not it is attainable or not. I fear for the latter. I fear that I will never have what it is that I want - that there is this vacant space in me that can never be filled. Maybe it isn't possible to have what you want, or maybe its just a matter of learning to want what you have. Is contentment a sort of giving up? Does it even exist? Lately there has been this feeling inside of me, like an burning itch that I cannot scratch, pestering and festering, pushing me closer and closer to the brink of madness. I long to find out what it is. Is it dissatisfaction? Loneliness perhaps? I can only remember a few times in my life that I have been free from this feeling. Its when I am passionately working towards something, or fulfilling a duty so important that I lose myself completely in the act. Maybe its the raging passion inside of me starving to be satiated. The thing is, I ca