The Anatomy of My Thoughts = Rowan-ism

I have a headache - from not drinking enough. Once again, I've had to exercise my discipline muscles so that I could get to the house in time for curfew... 11pm. Sad. I hate going "home". On the bus to 101 Elias Road, I realized that I have once again been enamored by a idealized perception of a person, and not the actual person. Ah, why do I always do that? Why can't I just stick to reality, instead of substituting my own biased perception of it? Ah, maybe I was just not meant to live in this reality. - Ironic eh... thinking of my erroneous fantasies on the way to a "fantasy" themed party. This is why I can't stay in a relationship. I have a tendency of over-thinking things, of glorifying people in my head to the point that they have avatars in my mind which are a far cry from who and what they really are. It always comes as a shock when I discover the discrepancies and well, perhaps the only word I can use to describe my state of mind then would be dis...

I've been roaming around Changi Terminal 1 and 2 for a while now. My mom's flight got delayed. She was supposed to arrive at 12pm from Vietnam. I suppose that I'll be taking the bus to the budget terminal soon, but to pass the time, I wandered to the aviation display somewhere in level 3. While I'm here, I couldn't help but think of you, with all of the equipment on display. Its really quite ironic. I barely know you, yet something so random, as a big silver fire suit can remind me of you. I know. I know. I'm getting more than just a little bit pathetic, but well, frankly, I don't really care. The people who read my blog or at least the people who matter, they know me well enough to know that I can be pathetic. Pathetic isn't that bad. I mean... what would I be otherwise? Superhuman? Everyone is pathetic one way or another. I am pathetic because I am absolutely fine with keeping my admiration for someone secret - like many of you out there. I can't a...

You haven't been seeing much of me lately and for that, my dear readers, I apologize. Those of you who know me... know that over the past month, I've spread myself too thin and my obligations and responsibilities have been tugging at me every which way. Over the last leg of my poly life, I've felt like giving up, I've felt a huge sense of loss, I've felt the pressure of having too much to do and too little time to do it and for that, I've been overwhelmed. Perhaps one of the things in which I have a very strong opinion about is what has happened to a dear friend of mine, where a perfectly good friendship was compromised by miscomunication, gossip, heresay and just plain misunderstandings. What a waste. Friendships like those only come about a few times out of a persons lifespan. It is really quite unfortunate because, although I don't particularly see the other party as a friendly one, I was willing to put aside my apprehensions for the sake of my friend. I ...

Know what I have this problem where people treat us females differently, compared to guys. It’s not fair. I mean guys nowadays are not very chivalrous and well chivalry is well appreciated by almost any girl. No guys nowadays they do not take care of us females… we don’t need taking care of but it would be nice if once in a while a guy would open a door for you or offer to carry your books. Well no these days you have to ask them to do these things for you. Have they no initiative? The problem with guys’ behavior is that they do not always treat girls as an equal. They- I speak in general- are quite proud and cocky. (That’s probably how that word came about…cocks) and feel ashamed when a female beats them at something especially if that thing is to do with sports. That’s just not right. I mean us girls may be physically weaker in general but the guy should at least be a good sport. And one more thing, why are the girls expected to do more of the housework compared to guys. That’...