The Anatomy of My Thoughts = Rowan-ism

Obsession. From time to time I find myself tethering at the brink of it. Here I am once again and all I want to do is worm my way out of its vice like grip. Obsession - could it be some dieseased, mutated form of determination? They seem to be enough alike - both have goals and delayed gratification involved. Well, all I know for sure is that not obtaining that "goal", is driving me inches closer to insanity. Its ever so maddening to fixate on something which is so unreachable when you can see that it is only inches away from your grasp. Its as if I were some wild caged animal and the key is within sight just outside the enclosure, almost within reach - taunting me, daring me to force my arm through those bars, dislocate my shoulder - do anything - including self inflicted damage. Just get out of my head! Leave me alone! NO! DON'T LEAVE! I need you! I despise you because you remain unattainable. Stop torturing me! I refuse to be Gollum, consumed by the desire for one obj

Today, or well... since its 3 in the morning ....I guess it was yesterday. I had to go through my first ever job interview. The interviewer glanced at my transcript. As his eyes scanned the page, he shook his head from side to side ever so slightly. I imagined him mentally clicking his tongue at my grades. As he read my CV, his eyes stopped at the internship section. He asked me, why I decided to pursue R&D for both my chosen Differential Research Program and my industrial attachment. Why wasn't I applying for a job in R&D instead? I asked myself that. I've always believed in working in the R&D industry but short to say, that sector isn't exactly hiring at the moment. Since the recent economic meltdown, it seemed that the main concern of these companies shifted from product development to self preservation. As a whole, it wasn't as nerve wrecking as I had originally imagined. I found that somehow I had to sell the idea that - despite my lackadaisical grades

I am frustrated by the education system, as many of you probably are. The main focus of this frustration however, is the fact that our qualifications are measured only in paper by means of degrees and diplomas and other various means of certification. Here's how it works. We take written exams which assigns a numerical value to our knowledge of the topic, with regards to our correct answers. At the end of our course in an institution, if we accomplish satisfactory examination results, we are given some sort of certification to prove that we have at least achieved the most minimal requirements of that institution. See the problem I have with this particular system is that the knowledge we have acquired though education do not consist purely of our capabilities in answering certain written tests. I hate that education remains institutionalized even within this modern day and age. See, there are various resources on the Internet which allow for the propagation of knowledge through the

Ha - I've been wanting to post pictures up for so long! I love these women! These are the pictures of our picnic at the Marina Barrage - which I had the stress of planning. I don't know who will have the (dis)pleasure of planning the next one, but its so not me. LOL! - It was worth it tho. Okay, here's the back story.... our excuse to meet up was that we were going to celebrate her birthday - thus, birthday surprize. We decorated a cake at The Icing Room - and no it is not a room in a bake shop for you to play with icing, as Hamidah and I soon found out. Its a shop. Anyways, we met Jessic at Marina MRT and as soon as we got to the Barrage, we were faced with a predicament... how the heck do we get the cake out to surprise Jessic. Jo and I "went to the toilet" while Fel and Midah distracted Jessic. It was awesome! She had no clue whatsoever - which made me get this nice warm feeling inside. Awww! We still went tromping round Marina Square after and well, due to my

I'm always on the run to see you. You catch me staring, drinking you in, Imprinting every second in my memory. Your laugh, your silly jokes, Your quirks... never fail to make me smile. There is a deeply rooted wisdom that I so admire.

Although most of you may know me as a very expressive person, that is not always the case when it comes to immensely emotional matters pertaining to extremely close friends and family. Perhaps that is why I’m so expressive most of the time, since I have become accustomed to stifling my emotions them when they are at their peak - I freely express my emotions when they are of lower intensities as an avenue of release - okay, THAT, am not really sure about...but that would explain things. :P Up till this day, I have a habit of rolling my eyes at the slightest indication of contempt or exasperation and often be labeled as a bitch for it. When you think about it, its kinda weird that the way my pupils would move could trigger such a negative reaction from others. The day that I learnt how to roll my eyes behind closed eyelids was the same day that I learnt that hiding the indicative action would successfully hide the emotion from reaching others. Lying, it alters perceptions, and I realize