Broken
I know that this is out of the blue but I felt compelled to write in my blog after years of neglecting it. Perhaps because I hope that it will be the catharsis that I need to push me to move on. Some days I find it hard to get out of bed. Thoughts of him still drift into my head triggered by the most mundane things which leave me in a crying fit. Today, I spoke to some of my friends about riding lessons. I couldn't bear to admit to them why I had stopped. It was because they reminded me of him. I know that I love riding and I hate myself for letting him have any power over my emotions and actions. It seems so unfair. How did I come to care so much for a person who cared so little for me? Well, it wasn't always that way. He used to hold my hand and listen to my problems. He would even offer a shoulder to cry on. I don't know what changed but something did and he started putting up a wall. As much as I would like to hate him, I can't. I owe him too much. he h