The Anatomy of My Thoughts = Rowan-ism

Graduation day was a pain. It was arduous and bittersweet. I didn't stick around with my classmates because I simply refused to remember that as "the last day". Thinking that it would be the last day I would see some of those faces bothered me and I did my best to not let it show. I ditched the occasion so that I would not have to think about it. Instead I dove into this alternate reality with my friend Mac and My cousin. That evening, despite my lying to the world with my actions, I could not lie to myself. I was reduced to a sobbing mess under the covers. The day of the ceremony will not be the last of anything and I refuse to remember it as so. The friends that I have made, I will see them again and the friends I have not made, well, there is little I could do about that. Celebrating it with a final hurrah would generate a feeling of closure, and that was something which I was trying to avoid. On Monday, I was reminded why I never visited Dunman after the farewell cere...

I am so freaking emotional right now! Its so unlike me to be a useless throbbing bundle of girlyness ! I am melancholic because I miss everything there is to miss! I miss High School, Philippines, Hong Kong and all of the friends and family whom I haven't seen for ages. I don't know what's up with me! I think that the span of the holidays is just too long. I've been by myself for prolonged periods of time and I end up thinking too much and analyzing my past social relationships. Gosh, I swear. I even took the Jungian test that I took for psychology and my results changed from an ENTP and finally ENFP ! Note the change from T to F- Thinker to Feeler! Oh and most of you know how much of a hippy I am so I'm pretty upset that a large proportion of the population did not participate in Earth Hour. How hard is it to turn off a freaking light bulb? I don't want my future kids and grand kids to miss out on seeing snowy mountain peaks just because millions of people...

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||| 42% Schizoid |||||||||||||| 58% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||| 78% Antisocial |||||||||||||||||| 78% Borderline |||||||||||||||| 62% Histrionic |||||||||||| 46% Narcissistic |||||||||||| 42% Avoidant |||| 14% Dependent |||| 18% Obsessive-Compulsive |||| 14% Take Free Personality Disorder Test personality tests by similarminds.com Apparently I have Schizotypal tendencies. According to the test I am suposedly have the diminished ability to form close relationships. Individuals with this disorder often appear odd or peculiar. I don't know how accurate that is but I don't think that's good. Do I need to see a Psychologist? Gulp! Its actually quite close to schizophrenia but minus the hallucinations and delusions.

Just took a personality test about "moody-ness" and big whoop, guess what, I'm pretty moody. The test says that my mood swings between 'exhausted' and 'uneasy'. here's a small portion of what it said (can't post up all of it due to copyright laws) : " At any given moment during the day, you're likely to feel reserved, pensive and withdrawn. Since you are sometimes uncertain about life and its quirks, you prefer to lay low rather than pursue activities. You experience about 7 times as many negative moods as you do positive moods. The way you perceive the events of your life can also play into the type and severity of the moods that you experience. Each of us has different internal beliefs about how life tends to unfold—whether you believe that it is dependent on your own actions or whether you think it is outside of your personal control. These internal perceptions can have a persistent and powerful affect on your mood state. For you, your...