Conflicting Self

Nothing feels solid.
I wish none of this was real.

Drained on the inside,
Parched I feel.

It just takes too much
To keep this facade up.

I wish I could just quit,
But I don't want to.

I need to keep this going,
But I don't want to.

This isn't good,
So why do I like it.

Something is wrong here,
But I don't know if this can be fixed.

Conflicts rage,
Turmoils boil and into the hole I sink.