rose colored glasses

I have a headache - from not drinking enough. Once again, I've had to exercise my discipline muscles so that I could get to the house in time for curfew... 11pm. Sad. I hate going "home".

On the bus to 101 Elias Road, I realized that I have once again been enamored by a idealized perception of a person, and not the actual person. Ah, why do I always do that? Why can't I just stick to reality, instead of substituting my own biased perception of it? Ah, maybe I was just not meant to live in this reality. - Ironic eh... thinking of my erroneous fantasies on the way to a "fantasy" themed party.

This is why I can't stay in a relationship. I have a tendency of over-thinking things, of glorifying people in my head to the point that they have avatars in my mind which are a far cry from who and what they really are. It always comes as a shock when I discover the discrepancies and well, perhaps the only word I can use to describe my state of mind then would be disenchanted. Oh and this only works when it comes to men.

This makes me recognize how much we all live in our heads and how impactful a cerebrally synthesized pair of rose colored glasses can actually do.