The Anatomy of My Thoughts = Rowan-ism

Remember I said that I was oddly addicted to show tunes? I thought I'd share this one with you guys. I was brought to tears by this song. When I heard it, I remembered why Lea Salonga was my first idol. She's the first asian to play Eponine! Ah musicals... many of you may not know it, but I love them. I am a sucker when it comes to musicals - you can't make me cry watching a movie on the silver screen, but when it comes to theatre... I bawl my eyes out. Growing up (when we were still well off) I remember catching West Side Story and Miss Saigon in the theatre. Sadly, I could only watch The Phantom of the Opera, Cats and other musicals on video. Sigh... one day, I will watch Les Mis. One day, I would be able to watch all of the musicals I want. Sigh... Anyways, the video is below. Sadly, the sound is a bit warbled because of the compression thingie that youtube does. Try downloading the track from aimini.net Les Miserables - On My Own a composed by Claude-Michel Schönberg wi...

I know that I am your friendly neighbourhood drama-queen but there's really just too much drama going down these days - even for me, most of which I am not allowed to mention in this blog. I have shockingly avoided being involved in the debates drama, therefore since I am not directly involved... these lips and the secrets behind them shall remain sealed. Although I don't agree with a lot of what's going on, I know that I am here to stay. In the one year that I've been in it, the program has changed my life. I may not have any major achievements in the field, and I may not be that much help to the juniors however I will do my best to help them. I want to share the experience I've had with others. I regret that not that many people share my views. I pray that few will leave, but ultimately everyone joins the squad to fulfill our own selfish agendas (be it self improvement) - and they will not hesitate to quit for the exact same reasons. Anyways, on my drama. I, as do...

Here I go again... New blog skin... for the new, more adult portion of my life. Its actually kind of interesting how I started off three years ago with a minimalistic black and white design, and now am going back to that. I guess we all go back to our roots. Sometimes we have to look backwards at our past to find out how to move forward with our lives. I haven't gotten any sleep yet... I've been playing with headers and different images all through the night just so that I get it looking just right. Okay fine... maybe the header tinkering was just for the the last hour. I was preoccupied with downloading show tunes prior to that. Hmm... I don't know what it is with show tunes lately. Its not really my kind of music... at least until now. Anyways, I hope you like this new skin. Again it shows my... narcissistic nature. But then again, so what honeys! It is MY blog. I am allowed to indulge in a little self obsession ain't I? I rather think that the new header looks like a...

I was on the verge of tears when I took the long walk to the convention centre to collect my graduation robe. Yes, as much as I thought it would not feel sentimental and about leaving, I just can't help it. I couldn't stop myself from slipping it over my shoulders and giving a twirl for everyone to see. Picture me wearing the red and gold striped robe, bouncing amidst the smiles of my friends. Sigh. Classic me. Orienting the freshmen was enjoyable and immensely exhausting. These vibrant and wild creatures came streaming into the room with such enthusiasm that they resuscitated the squad. It was refreshing. I was pleasantly surprised about how well these jovial novices actually did in their first debate, however, I was even more surprised at how well I debated. Sure, it was only for 4 minutes , but I had this new found manner and I strangely for this one debate, had good structure. Perhaps it was my mindset. I wanted to show them how provocative debating could be. It was such...

I have a headache - from not drinking enough. Once again, I've had to exercise my discipline muscles so that I could get to the house in time for curfew... 11pm. Sad. I hate going "home". On the bus to 101 Elias Road, I realized that I have once again been enamored by a idealized perception of a person, and not the actual person. Ah, why do I always do that? Why can't I just stick to reality, instead of substituting my own biased perception of it? Ah, maybe I was just not meant to live in this reality. - Ironic eh... thinking of my erroneous fantasies on the way to a "fantasy" themed party. This is why I can't stay in a relationship. I have a tendency of over-thinking things, of glorifying people in my head to the point that they have avatars in my mind which are a far cry from who and what they really are. It always comes as a shock when I discover the discrepancies and well, perhaps the only word I can use to describe my state of mind then would be dis...

I'm so hormotional now, you can't even imagine. Yesterday, even before I had awakened to a new day, I was love-sick. It was absolutely disgusting. It set the tone for these past two days. I find it so embarrassing that I don't even feel comfortable writing the sordid details of yesterday on this blog. Sigh. I'll leave you guys with a teaser though, straight off of my journal. "My mind is playing tricks on me. Before I woke, vivid images of romancing fluttered beneath my eyelids. It was odd though. The person in my dreams was someone whom I was completely unfamiliar with. Nonetheless, the interactions between us were flirtatious, tantalizing and needless to say absolutely enjoyable. I dreaded waking up, but my mother's voice (who nagged at me to get up) echoed in my ear, till I finally allowed the sleepy spell to break." That's all you get. I'd had to moderate that paragraph so that it wasn't dripping of sickly sweet honey, but you get the p...

As an update on my previous post: Yeah, I broke as an adj. I adj-ed in the JC final rounds and the Grand Finals! Whoot ! Diplomacy + Perseverance and a whole lot of luck = :D Warning: Discussions on Religion. - I know that some of you don't like this sort of thing so... cease and desist. I need this job to save my family from bankruptcy. Yes guys, I'm not being overly dramatic , as I do have a tendency to be. I honestly need to get a job within 3 months, or else, that $13000 per semester that we saved, is going to come back and bite me in my sweet derriere. Some of you may already know, I have suffered the great grounding. The first and hopefully the last of its kind experienced by yours truly. It rose from a simple conversation which progressively amplified into what seemed like tens of decibels. There were tears and shouting and some minor disobediences which occurred . Some of the glassware in my house became what could be seen as raw material for mosaics. Simply put, a ...

I have been bumped to the adj pool. I feel that it was an inevitable verdict, after seeing the tabs in the NTU website. Sad though. I felt rather cheated. I feel as if when other people voice out my ideas, it sounds a lot better and more complete. However, when it is my turn to explain that very same idea, that brainchild of mine, my composure fails me. Oh what use is a brain full of ideas when it is rather incapable of communicating those ideas to the outside world? Sure, my friends can understand me, but then again, that's due to months or years of being with me and trying to make sense of the words coming out of my mouth. Alas, to an individual does not know of me, there is a communication breakdown. I really should learn to speak my mind, and justify those thoughts to everyone else. Maybe adjudicating will help me do that. Startlingly enough, I was only apprehensive of the idea in the beginning. After rolling the idea around in my head, I felt rather accustomed to the idea. I ...