The Anatomy of My Thoughts = Rowan-ism

For the first time today, I've not restrained my thoughts from coming out of my mind entering the outside world. As a result I pissed people off. I have a fairly heavy duty filter installed in my head that prevents most of what I think from leaking out into the outside world and I have to say that, although I'm a fairly outspoken person, I say only about 10% of what I'm really thinking. If I'm close to someone however, they are privy to about- 70% of my thoughts and I expect no less in return.Writing or typing on the other hand, allows me to say another 10% of what's really in my head. This is probably why people like to read other peoples' blogs- for an insight to what's really going on in their heads. The thought of being out there is so terrifying to most of us though. All of our hidden intentions would be revealed, all of our secret thoughts and desires would be out for the whole world to hear. I would probably be a lot closer to my parents though if th...

I got home after a long day and received the news. The only grandparent I have left just had a stroke. Tatay is my grandfather on my fathers side and to tell you the truth, he's really my favorite. He has a weathered face creased with lines from years of smiling his charming toothless grin. He and my late grandmother put my dad and his four siblings through school. He farmed the land and loved to participate in cock fights. Every morning he would cycle a few kilometers to the paddy fields to do god knows what. I was always fascinated at the way he cycled so slowly without falling over. He lovingly carved a mancala set for us when we were younger, he even built a tree house for us to hang out in- pity it was torn down by a storm. He's so fit and him having a stroke was the last thing we expected. I just hope he gets well soon and I get to see that toothless grin again. I don't want my dad to be an "ulila" like my mom. Ulila- directly translated means abandoned or l...

I just had a eureka moment! I've been oblivious for years and I can't believe that I've been such an idiot for all this time. Remember the story when Archimedes stepped into a full bath and the water ran over the brim then he understood that volume of an object could be calculated using the amount of water displaced. I just had that about the guitar and music in general. It was like a tidal wave or something where everything just clicked. I swear if a musician heard about my revelation he would so have laughed because what I figured out is so basic that most musicians pick up on it right away. Anyways... ever since I was about 4 or 5, when I started learning how to play the piano, I always assumed that the notes are spaced equally because of the way they are written on the score and I couldn't figure out for the love of me why on earth is it that when I played "twinkle twinkle little star" starting with an E, I have to use the black keys but not if I played i...

Yesterday started off pretty good... midnight struck and I was having a deep meaningful conversation with one of my closest friends who also happens to be my cousin. I so miss that little bugger- he's kind of like a brother to me. I hope I get to go back to the Philippines on the June holidays so that me and my fave cousin can have some quality time together. Today my aunts left so the house is pretty quiet, its kind of freaky- 8 people now down to 5. It was kinda sad because I was pretty close to my godmother/aunt and she's been bunking with me in my room. She is about the only adult relative that I have that gets me- so, I was pretty down when she left- but then again I think it was due time that she left. Aunt Nina has been stressing about her family lately. Her youngest son was going to start high school so he needed to take an entrance exam. Her husband has a strange, potentially cancerous prostate tumour and her eldest son was transferring schools so of course this woman ...

I woke up pretty cranky because I had some trouble sleeping. School has started and I have to say that it didn't start off slow like it normally does. We were basically immersed in lectures and I found it immensely hard to concentrate. BPT might prove to be an issue for me because I am having a hell of a lot of trouble understanding the lecturer- and some people complain about MY accent!!! There's an upcoming Spaceman themed lab that I am dreading. The garb is just frustratingly hot- and I don't mean that in a good way. I don't appreciate being made to look like a giant marshmallow woman. :P I'm crossing my fingers for good luck- I'm not that keen on this new semester. All I can say is that I think that I need to get halfway decent grades if "the plan" is to work. Its a good thing that the cohort has most Fridays off- phew. I'm a bit down though, not because of anything major... its just that, the little things add up and suddenly, without realizin...

I'm sick. - No not in the mind!- er... well, maybe just a bit. I have caught your regular run-of-the-mill flu. It sucks though. School starts in two days. Whoo! Hello allowance! Hello classmates! This sem has been especially lucky because most of B8 is in the same class as me! Anyways, yesterday I was stomping across Singapore with my Aunts and Mother and for some reason, my eyes and therefore my camera lens was drawn skyward. Singapore has nice skies. Sky pics.

Yesterday was nice. I got to hang out with Mary Anne, a friend I had gained during my MOELC days. We both took French together and she has been my friend for ages. We watched "The Unborn" and I must say that it was unexpectedly good. Brilliant even. The general public- me especially has a fascination of twins and mirrors and this movie played on those two factors hence, making it especially effective. I am a big fan of horror movies in particular, simply because I grew up on R.L Stine. I must say that "The Unborn" kicked "The Grudge's" butt- the English version. I so can't wait for "Friday the 13th" to be released. It was particularly humorous because Mary Anne kept covering her eyes in the scary bits so, I guess you could say that I was the rude person in the movie theatre who kept breaking out in giggles while the "scary" bits were on. After weeks of searching, with the help of my trusty sidekick, I finally found a decent ...

I want a degree and I want it before I turn 30 so I have nine more years to work on it. Here's how I plan to do it: Graduate from my course- duh Get a job at a hospital- According to the tuition grant that I signed with the Singapore Government, I have to work in Singapore for a minimum of three years or I would have to pay my tuition fee in full. If I get a job here, by the time I finish my contract, I would be 25 giving me only 5 years to get my Degree. According to the contract, it is not compulsory to work in Singapore for 3 years if I become a Singaporean Citizen, and to become a citizen, I have to first secure a job. Apply for citizenship. Save up every cent I earn for the next 1.5 years and possibly get a second job. Apply for a course in the University of Florida- my only option at the moment, since I have relatives who might be willing to take me in. If I get accepted, I would then Apply for a student visa or a working permit. I could work full time and study part time un...

As you may have noticed, I have been on a week long hiatus. Its not because I have nothing to write about... its just, well I have been super " emo " lately and I think it unfair to bore you with mindless complaints and musings about nothing in particular- although... I do that from time to time. Speaking about emo - ness , just a note: I am very disturbed that pretty much all of the songs playing on the radio speak of this ever elusive thing called love. It is honestly one topic I desperately want to keep out of my head and here's why; I am a thinker and... basically, for me... thinking generates emotions and I don't want to "generate" emotions that I do not genuinely feel. - like the absolute adoration I feel for Paul Walker! Eeek ! - Kidding! He's HOTT though! NEWSFLASH!: Some moron stole my bike. My purple monstrosity of a bike! He's a complete moron because my dad bought it second-hand- so now its third-hand? Oh and the suspension on that thing...