Storm

Here I am once again, seesawing between emotions. There really must be something wrong with me.

I don't know if anyone else notices.

I absolutely abhor my situation. I despise that I feel powerless at this very moment.
I know for a fact that I am not incapable. I am hindered by certain unwritten contractual agreements and I know that is not an excuse. There is no excuse. I want so badly to escape from my predicament and that is my cruel dilemma ... myself.

I feel as if I am at the eye of a storm. Where everything is calm. I cringe at the thought that any moment I would be forced to submit to its tremendous winds. There and then, and only then, would I really be completely powerless ... not now.

Now, I have a chance, a small one at that and that fact has stopped many people. Will I let it stop me?

Life is indeed a slew of natural disasters. Now, more so in reality, rather than in the confines of my emotional mind.

There was a tsunami, there was an earthquake, there was a flood. Each of these resulted in thousands of casualties around the world, and here I am in sunny perfect Singapore, wallowing in one of the most despicable things in this world, in self pity.