The Anatomy of My Thoughts = Rowan-ism

This week has been a mad dash, a rush, a good workout and possibly one of the better weeks. Sure I messed up some of my experiments and sure I didn't break in the SMU Tournament but I still had loads of fun. Pictures below... the rest are on Facebook If you want the big copies... just buzz me online! :D Where am I? Sleep... More sleep... Almanac? Alamak! Boys! Patrick Star! Smile! Posers... hmph The big squuuueeezze! Today, I went back to school and we, the B8 people had a reunion. I couldn't really take any pictures because my phone's memory was maxed out. It was so nice to see my friends after a few months of totally no contact. I love you guys. Don't let that bitch get you down... you know who I'm talking about. I swear to get my phone fixed as soon as possible. Felicia, Jessic and Joshua... we missed you guys today.

I remember that I was going to try my hand at photoblogging so... The sky was so bright and the day was just plain goregous, so here are some of the random pictures I took that Thursday - everyone looks like a superhero: Palm beach, Florida? - Gosh the campus is awesome! Tall? Hmm... Super R2! All he needs is a cape! Don Fearsome? I know I haven't been blogging lately and its because I've been down with the flu and the MP Proposal is taking up all of my time. It's common knowledge that I am the queen of procrastination, but this is just ridiculous! I have been sleeping a lot - because the medication the doctor prescribed causes drowsiness, and well, that leaves me little time to get down to writing y proposal. Let me put it this way... right now, saying that I'm in a panicked state would be an understatement. Only on Monday did I get an idea of what I was going to write in the proposal. This evening, I found out exactly what I should include, and now, I have no excuses....

Oh yeah... I just watched a bunch of documentaries. One "The History of Islam" and another on ethnic violence in Africa, United States and the United Kingdom (Racism: A History). Islam does have similarities to Catholicism with regards to certain icons, like Abraham, Jesus, the Archangel Gabriel and the North Star. Its pretty interesting, and in the 5th century, when there was a mass conversion of the population surrounding Mecca to Muslim, the Jews and the Christians in the region were permitted not to convert because their practices were in parallel with Abraham's one God. Christians, Muslims and Jews actually worshiped side by side. I want to know more! Its a wonder that I think these things are fascinating, considering my consistent aversion to organized religion. It is interesting though... the differences and similarities between different religious beliefs. It actually makes me think that perhaps maybe, there's more to religion than I initially thought. Maybe I...

I've been stressing out this past week! Why is it that whenever I go try to relax... I end up more tired than when I started? The irony in having fun, is that it drains the life out of me. As of now I feel as if I'd fully recovered from Scarro's chalet. It was fun. Strange. Interesting and well... I actually missed a lot of it. I slipped away to catch some Zs. Maye would be proud of THAT overt expression of my hedonistic tendencies. What can I say... when you need sleep... you gotta have it. It seemed appropriate because I'd been getting very little sleep these past few days and alcohol just amplified my sluggishness. Note to self: Finish off the with tequila. Don't start the celebration/ de -stressing session by drinking half a bottle no matter how upset you get . Bah...I guess it would have been no different if I were to be awake when all of the action happened. I probably would have no recollection of it anyways - like Rabies. Hahaha ! I only got a comprehensive...

The pressure is on people. My Major Project has been explained to me by my supervisor and the first thought that came to my mind was: "Oh my gosh! How awesome would it be if we actually helped provide the foundation for magnetic hyperthermia as a cure for cancer!" My second thought was: "Oh my gosh! How on earth am I supposed to do this? I have no idea... damn. There's tons of reading to be done." Then I heard a really loud KA-BOOOM! - That was the sound of my bubble bursting! My heart sank. There was this uncomfortable, funny feeling at the pit of my stomach. A daunting task it is, but it is worth doing if I want any of my hopes of trying to save the world to be fulfilled, and less importantly, if I want to pass my MP. I am now centrifuging the nanoparticles... and doing the Debates homework. Sigh... I still have to write my Major Project Synopsis. Its due on Friday as well. Oh dear oh dear....

What's the difference between pretending to cooperate and actually cooperating? The outcome is exactly the same, with regards to everyone else in the world who might be impacted by those actions. But there is a difference. What is the difference between pretending and being? Pretending makes things much more complex. Pretending to do something is forcing your physical self to do something which you probably don't believe in. It requires more planning and self control as compared to actually doing something because you want to. Pretending is absolutely fine with me. I'd be none the wiser if someone was to blatantly lie to my face. Because, it is practically impossible to tell if someone is pretending or not, unless of course that someone shows cracks in their facade. That would then lead me to question the credibility of that person's actions and the genuine-ity of his intentions. Aren't I the hypocrite? Then again if someone were to "pretend" for my benef...

Here I am once again, seesawing between emotions. There really must be something wrong with me. I don't know if anyone else notices. I absolutely abhor my situation. I despise that I feel powerless at this very moment. I know for a fact that I am not incapable. I am hindered by certain unwritten contractual agreements and I know that is not an excuse. There is no excuse. I want so badly to escape from my predicament and that is my cruel dilemma ... myself. I feel as if I am at the eye of a storm. Where everything is calm. I cringe at the thought that any moment I would be forced to submit to its tremendous winds. There and then, and only then, would I really be completely powerless ... not now. Now, I have a chance, a small one at that and that fact has stopped many people. Will I let it stop me? Life is indeed a slew of natural disasters. Now, more so in reality, rather than in the confines of my emotional mind. There was a tsunami, there was an earthquake, there was a flood. Eac...