The Anatomy of My Thoughts = Rowan-ism

A picture's worth a thousand words right? So I've started a tumblr account click here

If I passed on, I wonder what people would say about me. Would they say that I was brash and difficult to understand? Would any of my acquaintances actually say something about me that was even a modicum close to how I see myself? I hope so. I hope that somehow, my actions do my intentions justice, because after all, seeing a person for who they are is never as simple as it seems. That's why I only have a handful of good friends who get me. Some of you may wonder why I've been contemplating the effects of death on my social life, or rather the effects of my social life on the events of my completely hypothetical suicide. Well the truth is that it recently dawned on me that if I were definitely committed to committing suicide, I more that the majority of people would have access to substances which could definitely aid me in crossing the threshold. In addition to that realization, hypothetically, if I were to go ahead and kill myself in my room, I gather that it would probably t...

So bloody sweet!

Eeep! He thinks I'm smart! Yes I am grinning from ear to ear. Granted, I know I am, but it's so nice to hear that someone noticed. Ah, so this is what it feels like to be on cloud nine. Yes. I have a crush, but I'm crushed that we won't be seeing each other for a while. I'll go ahead and leave that cryptic. No names, no clues. After all, a blog is a public domain. Who knows who's toes I might be stepping on. ANYWAYS, I haven't touched this space for ages. I'm sorry to whoever visits this page only to find yet again that I haven't updated my blog - that is, if I have any readers at all. :P Well, in case I do have readers, I'll go on to bore you with the most exciting thing that has happened to me yet. Oh who am I kidding. Nothing exciting has happened to me except well... I started school, and you already know that. But what you didn't know is that I'm not schooling anymore! Oh and I'm not that depressed anymore. Yes, the whole schooli...

Just end this already. I am miserable. Gone were the days when all I had to care for was the next school deadline. Now... I have to worry about how many hours of sleep I get a day, where and when I am going to eat my next meal and how on earth I'm going to get to class each day - if and when I have work on the same day and time. I have to worry about what excuse I'm going to give my friends to let them down easy for not being able to go out with them. It is not due to the lack of desire to meet up... But ultimately it all boils down to my being stretched out to thin. There are only so many hours in a day and I require a fixed amount of sleep. I am so utterly frustrated that I can't do everything. I feel so incapable, so meek. I expected more from myself. I thought my life would take off from the moment I got employed, and accelerate even more when I started school, but it seems like all this is keeping me from living. I feel as if I'm slowly slipping out of existan...

I've been sick for the past few days and to tell you the truth, for some part, I am enjoying it. Yes, the aches and pains and the heaving is barely bearable but there is a good side to it. I get a little time off work, which I needed so desperately to recover.This whole balancing school and work thing is more difficult than I thought. I really feel it taking a toll on my health, mental as well as physical.I've been much more forgetful lately and on two occasions I had absentmindedly left my laptop - one of my most cherished belongings.The first time, I had left it in a toilet cubicle and the girl who had gone in after me tried to steal it. Here's what happened: As soon as I remembered that I had left the laptop in the cubicle - which was right about the time that I was washing my hands, I just hung around outside her cubicle waiting for her to come out. After what seemed like a ridiculous amount of waiting, she came out of the cubicle. She passed me and went to wash her han...

I'm schooling. I just grabbed a delicious breakfast at one of the most exotic local food courts, after work. I live in one of the most culturally diverse countries in asia. Life is beautiful. Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

I know that I said that I'm sick of playing games but sometimes it is just neccessary for survival. Oh well... The two of them want to play games, so I'll let them. I just hope that they know that I'm not the type to just take it just like that. I reciprocate tenfold. Let the mind games begin. Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

I think that my parents are separating. I can't say that this comes as a shock to me. It really doesn't. I have said this many times before and I will say this again... All I want is for both of them to be happy. I hate that they make each other miserable... I can understand both sides though. I just didn't realize that it would suck so much. I mean how could the two people that I love the most in the entire planet make each other so miserable? I don't blame myself. I blame both of them. They're both so blind. Like... I can se how my Mum's snippy-ness and nagging can bring someone like my Dad to the edge of their sanity... And I can see how my Dad's lies and broken promises could crush my Mum's esteem. That added on with the fact that she's a smart woman trapped at home as a housewife could drive her bonkers. I just feel really miserable right now. I wish that I could help them resolve their issues. Too bad they think that its better to ...

I know I don't look it but I really am a big Eminem fan. I always have been, from the time when I was a teenager who dressed in over-sized clothing and suffering from a severe form of teen angst till... well now. Em has pretty much disappeared for a few years, just doing a few collaborations here and there - till he released Recovery last year, and now the Bad meets Evil EP . Out of nowhere, my adoration for this hip hop machine was rekindled by the song Lighters. I was surprised that Em was doing something with Royce Da 5'9. Why was I surprised ? Well, because I know about the D12 and Royce beef. Glad they worked it out. Anyways, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't freaking ecstatic that one of... if not my favorite artist is back in the airwaves. Be it with a few lyrics bleeped out. I don't know what it is about Marshall Mathers that drives me to the verge of obsession. Maybe because his lyrics are sometimes so cryptic - or double entendres that I just end ...