Change

Photo courtesy of Tank.

I tried to be responsible on Saturday. Tried being the imperative word. Sure I got home at around 9pm and got scolded for it can you believe it! but my self discipline muscles were sorely exhausted from trying to pull myself away from that party, hence I didn't really have the heart to flip through my notes.

I got sick on Sunday so I've basically been a useless lump under my blankets. Monday marked the commencement of the term tests. It doesn't take a genius to see how I did for Monday's and today's paper.

I couldn't help but linger after the last term test paper. The word last echoed in my head and I had to contemplate the fact that other 'lasts' are approaching rapidly. Of course there are also many firsts, but its the 'lasts' I'm worried about. Its the lasts that are heart wrenching.

I walked through the near empty corridors. I my footsteps resounded in the hollow space. I couldn't help but feel like this chapter of my book is drawing to a close. Next week might be the last time I see some people and the thought really upsets me. Granted, not everyone is my friend, and I don't really know everyone, however, when an imagined community goes down, I can't help but feel sad.

I feel as if I'm being forcibly kicked out of a movie just as it was getting good. Just as everything was going well, the winds of change have to come and ruin the gorgeous house of cards that I've been working on. Pooh, well. The bright side is that I know how to rebuild that house of cards back up again.

Change is in the air and I am shit scared. Its a good thing that courage isn't the absence of fear, but the act of overcoming it. I hope I can at least do THAT.