The Anatomy of My Thoughts = Rowan-ism

I've been sick for the past few days and to tell you the truth, for some part, I am enjoying it. Yes, the aches and pains and the heaving is barely bearable but there is a good side to it. I get a little time off work, which I needed so desperately to recover.This whole balancing school and work thing is more difficult than I thought. I really feel it taking a toll on my health, mental as well as physical.I've been much more forgetful lately and on two occasions I had absentmindedly left my laptop - one of my most cherished belongings.The first time, I had left it in a toilet cubicle and the girl who had gone in after me tried to steal it. Here's what happened: As soon as I remembered that I had left the laptop in the cubicle - which was right about the time that I was washing my hands, I just hung around outside her cubicle waiting for her to come out. After what seemed like a ridiculous amount of waiting, she came out of the cubicle. She passed me and went to wash her han...

I'm schooling. I just grabbed a delicious breakfast at one of the most exotic local food courts, after work. I live in one of the most culturally diverse countries in asia. Life is beautiful. Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

I know that I said that I'm sick of playing games but sometimes it is just neccessary for survival. Oh well... The two of them want to play games, so I'll let them. I just hope that they know that I'm not the type to just take it just like that. I reciprocate tenfold. Let the mind games begin. Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

I think that my parents are separating. I can't say that this comes as a shock to me. It really doesn't. I have said this many times before and I will say this again... All I want is for both of them to be happy. I hate that they make each other miserable... I can understand both sides though. I just didn't realize that it would suck so much. I mean how could the two people that I love the most in the entire planet make each other so miserable? I don't blame myself. I blame both of them. They're both so blind. Like... I can se how my Mum's snippy-ness and nagging can bring someone like my Dad to the edge of their sanity... And I can see how my Dad's lies and broken promises could crush my Mum's esteem. That added on with the fact that she's a smart woman trapped at home as a housewife could drive her bonkers. I just feel really miserable right now. I wish that I could help them resolve their issues. Too bad they think that its better to ...

I know I don't look it but I really am a big Eminem fan. I always have been, from the time when I was a teenager who dressed in over-sized clothing and suffering from a severe form of teen angst till... well now. Em has pretty much disappeared for a few years, just doing a few collaborations here and there - till he released Recovery last year, and now the Bad meets Evil EP . Out of nowhere, my adoration for this hip hop machine was rekindled by the song Lighters. I was surprised that Em was doing something with Royce Da 5'9. Why was I surprised ? Well, because I know about the D12 and Royce beef. Glad they worked it out. Anyways, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't freaking ecstatic that one of... if not my favorite artist is back in the airwaves. Be it with a few lyrics bleeped out. I don't know what it is about Marshall Mathers that drives me to the verge of obsession. Maybe because his lyrics are sometimes so cryptic - or double entendres that I just end ...

Is contemplating the rammifications of uttering what could be two of the most satifying words I might ever utter in my career. "I Quit!"

To those who let me ride the monster of a roller coaster alone: Go ahead! Stay in your comfort zone. One day you'll realize that you've spent your whole life in that zone and at the end of it all you would have spent a lifetime with a life not fully lived. What a waste, then again, it's your life and not mine, so frankly I don't give a damn.

Hanging with the girls and talking about boyfriends, boys in general and all those other girl things was refreshing. I figure we should do that more often. Hang out in smaller crowds more frequently. I loved being able to hear what was being talked about. I love that I can jump in the conversation when I want to and I love that I know whats going on... because this time round there's only one conversation going on at one time. It was the perfect timing for some much needed bonding. Sigh... See you soon my lovely ladies.

From what happened today, I have come to the conclusion that I am in fact immensely as straight laced as they come. This week I've gone out every other night. I enjoyed it, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I didn't even try to lose myself. I was barely drunk. I realize that the gatherings I still enjoy the most are the quiet but intense ones surrounded by my most intimate of friends. Granted, I love to dance and flail around like a freak show, but then again that's just probably just due to the fact that I love to perform. I miss those intimate drinking sessions where you can actually hear yourself slurr over topics that really matter to you. That is so much more ideal compared to the inadvertently mind numming club chitchat about who's hot and who's getting drinks for the slutty girl in the corner. Clubs are just so sexual. Its fine for the occasional perk but to pick it up as a constant hangout is just both exhausting and depressing beca...

Warning: Some individuals may think that questioning their faith in hazardous to their spiritual wellbeing. If you are one of these individuals, you might not want to read the following. Faith, what is it worth? Faith is neither good nor bad. It is simply blind, and blind actions driven by blind faith are far less successful in imparting the symbolic meaning behind the rituals to their practitioners. If you practice something blindly, you become a puppet of tradition. Going through the motions without knowing or wanting to know the significance behind them. Blind faith stems from a satisfied attitude. An attitude that is perfectly fine with things remaining a mystery. When origins of practices remain mysterious, the meaning behind them is lost because the actions are taken away from the context. Although the idea of Faith itself is imperfect, it is a tool. Faith is internal application. Essentially, it doesn't make the world a better place, but it has the potential to make you a b...