The Anatomy of My Thoughts = Rowan-ism

Friday! Packing, packing, packing and then... debates, and then more packing. After which I just couldn't bring myself to sleep. I was panicked, so I read. I read till about 5 am. I doubt anything sunk in, but the action of researching reduced my stress levels, that is, till I found out that I only had an hour to catch some shut eye. I couldn't, so I arrived in school on Saturday, at 7.18 bleary eyed and with a crazy headache. "COFFEE!" I cried, before the first round of battle could commence. The weekend was spent in NTU . That was thrilling, stressful and surprising all at the same time. I felt horrible though. I was on the verge of catching the common cold, and voila, before I know it, I'm in bed with a mild case of sniffles, which I think is close to doing me in. Pictures very soon. I was moody on Sunday though, as a result, I was displacing some of that pent up frustration on my poor teammates. Its not my fault I was moody. If only things unfolded differently...

I found this out. Its a very strange phenomenon that I've observed... I don't know about you, but for me, this is how I learn. A topic becomes interesting when you start understanding it. As you learn more about it, the level of interest also increases, When you've learnt a lot about it, it loses its novelty, it becomes less interesting. And finally, when you believe that you know everything there is to know about that topic, it bores you. Now, apply that to a person. How can an individual remain interested in another individual for a lifetime? Then again, people do change in time. They grow older and wiser, and perhaps that maintains the wonder and mystery of that individual. Thank goodness I picked the constantly evolving field of science and technology. God forbid if I study something such as history, which is rarely rewritten. It might just kill me. Anyways, perhaps history does have its saving grace. It helps us predict what will happen in like future circumstances.

Here I am moving out again. While I was packing up 10 years worth of my junk into boxes, I came across a bag of secondary school memorabilia. I wondered where that girl in the pictures went. I wondered if all of the changes I had made to my life and my way of thinking were for the better. Was I a better person then? I'm sure I am smarter now. I wonder if knowing more makes that big of a difference. I feel dirtier now, more of a conniver, but happier. If I am indeed happier, it must mean that I'm on the right track right? Or am I just happy because I am wallowing in my hedonistic tendencies? Everything is changing. I'm afraid I don't want to let go yet, but time is no friend of mine. Time stands still for no man. I need time. I'm not ready for everything to change all at once.

It seems like Momma's arriving at around 3 now... according to Dad, so I guess I'm stuck here for a while. Good news though, I saw sunflowers. Though not a whole field of them. Just those little walk though displays in the waiting areas. Hmm ... walking around reminds me of Hong Kong. The leaf shaped ceilings , the glass canopies and the wide open spaces look like the Hong Kong airport that I got used to growing up. Sigh... I can't remember a time when I didn't live in between two countries. I guess my family's been doing it for a while now. Shuffling between two countries. Its all I know really. I mean, my first plane ride was when I was 6 months old. Boy have I changed since then. I used to like travelling, because it meant that I was flying across international boarders to see the people I love. Now, I don't see it exactly that way. My life here and in Philippines has grown in contradistinct directons. Its two completely different worlds. Now, flying just ...

I've been roaming around Changi Terminal 1 and 2 for a while now. My mom's flight got delayed. She was supposed to arrive at 12pm from Vietnam. I suppose that I'll be taking the bus to the budget terminal soon, but to pass the time, I wandered to the aviation display somewhere in level 3. While I'm here, I couldn't help but think of you, with all of the equipment on display. Its really quite ironic. I barely know you, yet something so random, as a big silver fire suit can remind me of you. I know. I know. I'm getting more than just a little bit pathetic, but well, frankly, I don't really care. The people who read my blog or at least the people who matter, they know me well enough to know that I can be pathetic. Pathetic isn't that bad. I mean... what would I be otherwise? Superhuman? Everyone is pathetic one way or another. I am pathetic because I am absolutely fine with keeping my admiration for someone secret - like many of you out there. I can't a...