Silence!

In all honesty, my mental state at this very moment can be described in one word, and that is confused.

My mind is muddy and sluggish. I don't know weather to assume, ignore or just remain speculative about the recent developments in my reality. Everything that made sense, no longer does and I am questioning the very foundation of my belief system. Talk is cheap but it sure can catalyse some pretty earth shattering revelations.

Words and actions are what we hear and see, and we can only interpret from there. I used to have this innate talent for reading people and using what information I've gathered to the best of my advantage, but really... I know that its not right to exploit. It never was, and I swore that off a long time ago.

I used to be a bitch. Hated amongst some of my peers yet, influential beyond any body's understanding. I used to enjoy playing games - catty mind games. Now, I don't feel like playing anymore. Perhaps that's what makes me weak, I've lost the edge.

I know that I'm being extremely abstract, and that really is the best that I can do at the moment. I need to figure this out for myself first of all.

I've had the maddest dreams lately. Mad!

I need to think. I need time to think. I need silence.