Angels and nightmares.
Yesterday, I had this freakishly unusual and frightening nightmare.
My mother of all people was pregnant. I remembered thinking, "At that age and that condition, it would be likely that she would die before my sibling would reach apt maturity in her womb". I also remembered thinking that I would even resort to being a surrogate mother for my own sister so long as my mother was kept safe .
In the dream, my mum was dead set on having that child. That tiny monster that I was supposed to recognize as a sister. To tell you the truth, I was furious at the baby for putting my strained familial relationships in an even more precarious position.
It was immensely strange as dreams are, but it made me appreciate my mother even more. It was terrifying.
I know, and have known for years that my mother was no longer capable of child bearing and I know how much of a toll it was on her to only be able to have one child. They've tried many times, five if I am not wrong, and all but one were still born.
I guess I am lucky.
Its weird though, when I was younger, I always had this reoccurring dream that there were four angelic little girls dancing around my head, the strangest part about that though is the fact that only recently did I find out that my siblings were all girls.
A few weeks ago, I actually found out one of their names. My family was watching television in the living room and I made a comment about how there were many actresses whose names came from the root "angel" such as Angelica, Angela, Angelique and Angel. I thanked my parents for not naming me Angel. My Dad responded that one of my sister's names was Angelita - which is Spanish for little angel. That conversation struck a chord with me.
My mother of all people was pregnant. I remembered thinking, "At that age and that condition, it would be likely that she would die before my sibling would reach apt maturity in her womb". I also remembered thinking that I would even resort to being a surrogate mother for my own sister so long as my mother was kept safe .
In the dream, my mum was dead set on having that child. That tiny monster that I was supposed to recognize as a sister. To tell you the truth, I was furious at the baby for putting my strained familial relationships in an even more precarious position.
It was immensely strange as dreams are, but it made me appreciate my mother even more. It was terrifying.
I know, and have known for years that my mother was no longer capable of child bearing and I know how much of a toll it was on her to only be able to have one child. They've tried many times, five if I am not wrong, and all but one were still born.
I guess I am lucky.
Its weird though, when I was younger, I always had this reoccurring dream that there were four angelic little girls dancing around my head, the strangest part about that though is the fact that only recently did I find out that my siblings were all girls.
A few weeks ago, I actually found out one of their names. My family was watching television in the living room and I made a comment about how there were many actresses whose names came from the root "angel" such as Angelica, Angela, Angelique and Angel. I thanked my parents for not naming me Angel. My Dad responded that one of my sister's names was Angelita - which is Spanish for little angel. That conversation struck a chord with me.
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