Stained

I feel like I want a fresh start, a clean slate. Each experience I have feels etched into my skin and I feel like as hard as I try to scrub it off, my skin is stained. Never to be clean again. I scrape against my skin leaving more marks than before. Uglier.

I want a do over. I no longer want to be the person that I am. I feel dirty. I feel like I am worth less that I used to and that doesn't feel very good.

Granted the vacation has renewed me to an extent. It has erased fatigue and awoken in me a desire to be somewhere else. It is silly to want escape. It is impractical, but I just don't want to be here right now. I don't want to be me anymore. There has to be more for me.