Resolution

As the days pass by I learn to be more honest with myself, more forgiving. I am not as weak or feeble as I originally thought. Years ago I considered myself a strong and independent young woman. Now that I am more independent that ever, it seems my opinions about myself has changed.



I am here to reclaim my former glory. The ability to put myself out there, and make myself vulnerable to others is not a weakness - it is a strength. I refuse to grow calluses on my heart simply because to do so would mean that I've lost all hope.



I can't do that. There has to be hope, always, or else how can we all keep going?

Weeks of partying and letting all hell break loose was just a way of procrastination, a way of putting my feelings on hold. Its easy to get stuck in a cycle of "what ifs", self pity and hatred. I'm making a choice to be done



People make mistakes, it is my nature to be hard on myself. I am an idealist after all. The reality of the situation has dawned on me. It is true I have no control over my emotions, but I refuse to dwell on my mistakes. I must forgive myself, just like before. I must forgive us.



It doesn't get easier, but it does get more familiar.



I guess I've always known this. The highs are worth the lows. Syempre.