The Anatomy of My Thoughts = Rowan-ism

I keep finding myself in these situations and I always end up hating it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am lucky to have a job, but really, I know that this isn't the job for me. I don't actually hate the job itself, I hate the nature of it... that it becomes so menial and routine and the human interactions that come along with it are often negative or neutral. Although there are some times where I can make the nurses at the triage smile, or perhaps have a nice little chat with my colleagues, customers or shop keepers - I'm still left with this emptiness. Here I am once again seemingly stuck in a hopeless cycle that robs you of your soul and passion. I work, and let me tell you something about this kind of work. Its the kind of work that drains the energy from within your veins. It offers the much awaited monthly salary and the occasional moment of serendipity when you witness one of life's precious moments unfolding before you. Well it is a hospital, and that's ...

A couple of days ago someone TRIED to jerk me into "REALITY?!?" about my weight. I rolled my eyes - behind closed lids and thought to myself, reality is so subjective. I don't know if you've heard this before but for some reason, this phrase has come up quite a bit throughout the duration of my life. "You would look so much better if you were just a bit skinnier" Although I know that I'd be better off lighter - with regards to my weight I know for a fact that weight watching will be a very inconvenient thing, not to mention a rather emotional one. Besides, I'm young. I think my body can deal with my high calorie intake for now. Here's my thought on weight. As far as I am concerned, I could care less what the scale says about me. At the moment, I can freely eat what I want to eat, and do what I want to do guilt free - perhaps it can be seen as a fairly hedonistic approach to life but lets face it, food makes me happy and worrying about my weight d...

I have always loved the movie Shutter Island since the day I saw it. It reminded me of a somewhat more action packed version of one of my favorite movies (which I've only watched once by the way), The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, and also a bit of Girl Interrupted. All of which have the reccuring theme that reality is malleable depending on the mind which percieves it. Shutter Island mainly put forth the idea that the qualifiers pertaining to differentiating the sane from the insane are extremely subjective. Which brings about a disturbing notion. The idea is that if something which is treated as a clinical illness is so subject to human error and perception - how can we be sure that it is indeed a legitimate illness after all? Can we? Ahhh just watch the damned movies. For some reason, I really have a thing for movies that mind fuck. Yep, and Inception did just that. It scrambled my mind. The same way that Shutter Island did. Both left you with your own conclusion of what ...