NEW YEAR Baby!
What is it with me and public holidays?
Sadly, Christmas Day was one spent without family. Perhaps my first Christmas with no relatives around at least on the eve. It seemed as if My Father had traded me for a bottle of alcohol - or I should say bottles of alcohol with his friend. He wasn't home when midnight struck leaving me to entertain our guests, without any food at hand. As a last resort, I had Noche Buena (Christmas midnight "feast") with at Mc Donads. Thank lady luck that I was amongst friends prior to that happening so, I still felt as if, maybe, somewhat, I am not as alone as I thought I could be.
Perhaps that feeling of loneliness which I have been experiencing is just the effects of the social stigma surrounding social gatherings pertaining to these public holidays. I mean, I grew up expecting company and reunions during these holiday seasons. I know for a fact that people do care for me and I hope to God - if there is one, that that is enough to keep me from losing my mind.
The days which passed after that, I roamed around the streets of Tampines contemplating the damage that a public holiday could inflict on a person's psyche. With a heavy heart, I wandered, desperately scanning the faces of passers by, hoping I'd catch a glimpse, or chance upon someone familiar. I figured being in a crowd was much better than being alone. The silence scares me... because there are no distractions from the miserable truth - I was indeed alone.
No photos were taken, during this beloved public holiday - the first for me, simply because it is one which I can't wait to get out of my mind.
Moving forward... THAT's what new year is about.
2010.
2009 was full of discoveries for me. I made a ton of new friends and reunited with a few old ones. Unfortunately, 2009 was a year in which I was unable to visit my family, so as perhaps a coping mechanism, I have tried to fill that void with friends. They did so wonderfully, of course, that is until each of them have to tend to their own families.
That made me appreciate what exactly my family does for me. They will probably never truly understand me like my friends do, but they will never stop trying to. I may never be able to tell them everything, but I know as long as those precious blood ties exist, there will always be someone somewhere looking out for me. Friends and family. I love you guys.
My mind was cracked open, and new realities and perceptions were revealed to me upon joining my CCA. The passion to learn new things was once again ignited and of course a group of friends presented themselves.
Love was once again elusive, although there were a few close calls.
In 2009 I finally found a place for this square peg. Its such a shame though that it took me so long to meet these people... and I'm not just talking about you debaters out there. Winks! You know who you are!
2009 was full of fun, exploration and love for life.
Lets drop kick 2009's difficulties out of the picture and take the lessons learnt through that to heart, and kick ass on 2010!
Sadly, Christmas Day was one spent without family. Perhaps my first Christmas with no relatives around at least on the eve. It seemed as if My Father had traded me for a bottle of alcohol - or I should say bottles of alcohol with his friend. He wasn't home when midnight struck leaving me to entertain our guests, without any food at hand. As a last resort, I had Noche Buena (Christmas midnight "feast") with at Mc Donads. Thank lady luck that I was amongst friends prior to that happening so, I still felt as if, maybe, somewhat, I am not as alone as I thought I could be.
Perhaps that feeling of loneliness which I have been experiencing is just the effects of the social stigma surrounding social gatherings pertaining to these public holidays. I mean, I grew up expecting company and reunions during these holiday seasons. I know for a fact that people do care for me and I hope to God - if there is one, that that is enough to keep me from losing my mind.
The days which passed after that, I roamed around the streets of Tampines contemplating the damage that a public holiday could inflict on a person's psyche. With a heavy heart, I wandered, desperately scanning the faces of passers by, hoping I'd catch a glimpse, or chance upon someone familiar. I figured being in a crowd was much better than being alone. The silence scares me... because there are no distractions from the miserable truth - I was indeed alone.
No photos were taken, during this beloved public holiday - the first for me, simply because it is one which I can't wait to get out of my mind.
Moving forward... THAT's what new year is about.
2010.
2009 was full of discoveries for me. I made a ton of new friends and reunited with a few old ones. Unfortunately, 2009 was a year in which I was unable to visit my family, so as perhaps a coping mechanism, I have tried to fill that void with friends. They did so wonderfully, of course, that is until each of them have to tend to their own families.
That made me appreciate what exactly my family does for me. They will probably never truly understand me like my friends do, but they will never stop trying to. I may never be able to tell them everything, but I know as long as those precious blood ties exist, there will always be someone somewhere looking out for me. Friends and family. I love you guys.
My mind was cracked open, and new realities and perceptions were revealed to me upon joining my CCA. The passion to learn new things was once again ignited and of course a group of friends presented themselves.
Love was once again elusive, although there were a few close calls.
In 2009 I finally found a place for this square peg. Its such a shame though that it took me so long to meet these people... and I'm not just talking about you debaters out there. Winks! You know who you are!
2009 was full of fun, exploration and love for life.
Lets drop kick 2009's difficulties out of the picture and take the lessons learnt through that to heart, and kick ass on 2010!
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