The confessions of a makeup junkie

Yes I love makeup. And perhaps I am vain - or at least highly particular about how I look. Is it because I'm insecure, to an extent I suppose. I was never the most feminine or prettiest amongst my peers and the way I was raised, it was important to be feminine.


I grew up a bit of  a tomboy/bookworm. The constant moving around made me weary of making friends and for the longest time I felt awkward in my body. I felt it looked more boyish on the top and a bit too plump in the bottom. When I looked in the mirror I saw this round face that in my mind does not have an ounce of sex appeal.


I guess playing with make up made me feel as if I was matching my insides to my outsides. It also felt like I could put on different personas, I could have a rocker chick vibe when I wanted or something less innocuous like just hiding the miserable pimple that was making my life hell.


Makeup has become somewhat of a hobby for me. Its a fun form of self expression - just like choosing the clothes you wear. I find applying makeup somewhat therapeutic kind of like the act of washing your face after a long day - only in reverse. Like you're putting war-paint on so that you 're ready to take on the day.


Its also some sort of barrier between you and the outside world. If you wear a very dark lip for example, people are less likely to approach you. I don't know if its particularly intimidating or if people just think you're weird. LOL!


Anyways - on the topic of vanity, none of us really get to choose the faces we are born with and can only augment their faces via make up or surgery - but all of us care about how we look. Why is that?


We judge each other based on first impressions and it is true, attractive - and well put together individuals go further in life. That's they are also perceived to be nicer and smarter. In the long run, first impressions don't have much weight (unless you're applying for a job or having a first date) Maybe makeup is a way to cheat the system - or shrugs - maybe its just fun to customise the default skin you come in - just like your phone.


So - don't think I wear make up because I'm hella insecure or that society expects it - that's not the full story. I wear makeup because its fun and at times transformative.