The Anatomy of My Thoughts = Rowan-ism

In Greek mythology, people had double of everything. 4 hands, 4 legs, 2 faces, but Zeus was afraid of our coming into power so he split us in two, thus condemning us to a lifetime in search of our other half. The intimacy I crave cannot be fulfilled solely by passionate and tender intertwinings between the sheets.   I want a partner in every sense of the word, someone with whom I can share more than every inch of my flesh, but also the deepest innermost workings of my mind without fear of judgment or persecution. I want him to be able to do the same. I thirst for someone to bounce ideas off of, to help me understand the world better or at least how to make the most of it, someone with the same hungers and dreams, someone who feeds my soul. I'm supposed to get my ass out there to look for him or maybe even a her, but I can't bear it, at least not yet. So instead, here I sit in the isolation of my mind. Sometimes its peaceful and content, sometimes the other half is aching to

For my birthday, I want to have enough dough to go back to school. A friend told me that I should get a gofundme page to help fund University. I find this idea unsettling. I don't feel comfortable letting people invest in me. Perhaps its a self esteem thing. If I get funded by other people, I'm going to be held accountable for my grades and I'll disappoint a boat load of people if I fail. Secondly asking for money feels wrong because I am able-bodied and capable of earning it myself. (At least that's what I tell myself) There's a whole lot of people needing charity more that I am. Asking for money means I have given up on trying to obtain it myself. I refuse to admit defeat. I think I can do it myself. My aunt offered to lend me money to finish school too, but I couldn't take it from her. She already does a lot to help out my folks and taking any form of loan doesn't sit well with me. We already owe her so much and I don't want to burden her furth